My Lebanese American Life

Hi:) and my husbands view of “CNN Unwelcome; Muslims next door with Soledad Obrien”

2011-03-29T19:10:00.000-07:00

I KNOW, I KNOW!

It’s been forever. I really don’t like 2011. So far this year has not been kind to me 
So much has been going on this year with the world. Everywhere. I can’t even keep up because it’s very hard for me to watch the news without crying.
I know everyone’s been blogging about so much going on in the world…and I honestly don’t know what to write. I’m as shocked as you all are by all the inhumanity and devastation that has been swallowing people.
My husband took over his blog…so he is now updating it. Today he posted a blog on a CNN news report we watched yesterday. The title was “CNN Unwelcome; Muslims next door with Soledad Obrien” you can watch the special and read what my husband thought of it.

I haven’t read everything he wrote, because it’s very long and I’m at work. Let me just say that me and my husband do not always share the same views. Our home is run like the Lebanese Government…we are always fighting over politics :)

Anyways if you have the time, please check out his blog
http://lymphomahodgkins.blogspot.com/2011/03/cnn-unwelcome-muslims-next-door-soledad.html#links
I really do miss blogging.

Angie

merry christmas!

2010-12-27T02:56:00.000-08:00

Christmas had a different feel this year. We even opened our gifts the evening before Christmas Eve. This year it was just Marcel, River and me. After 2 days of shopping we were all going to separate rooms to wrap each other’s gifts, but decided to just exchange them then. Marcel and River both got cell phones. We got the “Dragon” program for Marcel’s computer. It types what he dictates. He’s been talking forever about writing a book. I’ll be sure to let you know how good it works. Aside from that he got a wireless mouse and an iPod docking station. Aside from Rivers phone, Marcel bought River a Sword (why? I have no idea, but they both loved it)..And then bunch small gifts for River, which teens don’t really like, but I knew he needed.

It was actually a really nice Christmas because we spent all of Christmas Eve and Christmas downstairs in our PJ’s watching movies  I never get to spend time with them like that. I loved it so much!
I hope for those of you who celebrate Christmas had a wonderful Christmas!
This year passed so fast.

its been a while!

2010-12-21T16:49:00.000-08:00

I've been away for a very long time.... after G'pa passed away i decided not to blog for a while (I did use Facebook though).
In Lebanon when someone passes away, there’s a 30 day mourning phase, then usually a service (at least for the Maronite population). Most families will go a lot longer or even a year in the mourning phase. Families’ will do without TV, skip holidays and celebrations of any type in order to show respect for the person who is no longer with us. Some people wear black...and some women even let go of makeup and hair.
Just recently one of my brother-in-law's was very upset. Because some of the family back in Lebanon, decided to put up a Christmas tree. I truly believe G’pa would want everyone to be happy and celebrate the holidays, but everyone has their own views, and I can respect that!
For my family (Marcel, River and me) we decided to celebrate the holiday. We have a Christmas tree and will be exchanging gifts.
A lot has happened since I last posted. Marcel is in remission…that means no cancer. He stopped taking the SGN-35 because he has so much nerve damage…but it did the job. I truly believe that SGN-35 will change the way Hodgkin’s is treated for the 10% of patients who never reach remission, or who continue to relapse. And I finally met someone else who is taking the drug, and after 1 treatment her body is already experiencing pain relief…amazing right? I think so..and I wish this drug is approved by the FDA soon so that other families can experience miracles as well.
I hope everyone is doing great….i will be spending the next few days catching up on all of your blogs…I really miss reading the blogs I follow.

وفاة السيد نادر موسى نادر والد الرفيق انطوان نادر

2010-09-24T14:47:00.000-07:00

وفاة السيد نادر موسى نادر والد الرفيق انطوان نادر
G'pa Nader

G'pa Nader

2010-09-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

We found out late last night that Marcel’s G'pa passed away last night. He was 81 years old, And an amazing man!

The last time I seen G’pa was during the 2006 war. We went to tell him goodbye…and he was sad and holding my hand tight (I literally had to pull myself away from him). I would always tease Marcel and tell him that g’pa loved me more….but the truth is, I was blessed to have just known him and he had so much love to go around.

The photo to the top left of Marcel (as a teen) is his namesake G'ma Marcelle

He was the only male of his parents and had 2 sons and 4 daughters with his wife (who Marcel was named after) Marcelle. He was married for 18 years until she passed away from breast cancer. So he raised his children all on his own. His oldest son Joseph was in his upper teens…and his youngest daughter Dayan was only about 5 years old.

His oldest daughter Josephine was about 13 years old and took on the responsibility of taking care of her siblings, preparing all the meals, laundry and housecleaning.

G’pa was in the Lebanese Army his whole life and retired in 1986.
He was the most devout catholic I think I may have ever known. He was always sitting in his chair at home reading the bible or praying the rosary…he prayed so much. Facing him was the photo of his wife that hangs on the wall. All of his children were married and had children, and he even became a great G’pa during his life.
Last night as Marcel and I were in bed….we were just talking about some of the funny things G’pa would say in different situations, and Marcel told me some stories he had of G’pa from years ago.
No one ever came back from death to let us know the truth about what’s next…but if anyone deserves to be reunited with his wife, his parents, his grandchild who passed away as young child…its G’pa!
I wish we could be in Lebanon with the rest of the family and celebrate his life! Unfortunately we cant…but he will always be in our hearts.
We were awake at midnight last night looking for a photo I took with G’pa on a new years eve…we had hats on and eye masks. We couldn’t find it…but when I do, I’ll post it.

@jaz ...from born confused

2010-08-27T18:40:00.000-07:00

you made your blog private recently.....invite me!!!!
i hope your doing good :)

Bold if true

2010-08-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

I'm copying this from Wafa's Blog i had fun reading hers and learning a little more about her.

Let's know more about each other :)

If you like the following simply cope, paste and bold what's true :)

Bold if true:

I am a cuddler.

I am a morning person.

I am an only child.

I am currently in my pajamas.

I am currently pregnant.

I am currently single.

I am currently suffering from a broken heart.

I am left handed.

I am married.

I am addicted to my myspace.

I am online 24/7, even as an away message.

I am a little shy around the opposite gender at first.

I bite my nails.

I can be paranoid at times.

I don’t like anyone.

I enjoy country music.

I enjoy jazz music.

I enjoy smoothies.

I enjoy talking on the phone.

I have a car.

I have a cell phone. (i had one last year...hated everyone calling me 24 hours...and turned it off)

I have/had a hard time paying attention at school.

I have a hidden talent

I have a lot to learn

I have a pet.

I have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” guy/girl

I have all my grandparents

I have at least one brother (2)

I have been to another country

I have been told that I am smart

I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor

I have OR HAD broken a bone

I have Caller I.D. on my phone.

I have changed a diaper

I have changed a lot over the past year.

I have done something illegal. (nothing to bad :)

I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color

I have had major/minor surgery.

I have killed another person

I have had my hair cut within the last week.

I have mood swings

I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life

I have rejected someone before.

I have seen The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

I have seen the television show The O.C.

I like Shakespeare.

I like the taste of blood.

I love to cook.

I like to sing.

I love Michael Jackson

I love sleeping.

I love to play computer games.

I love to shop.

I miss someone right now.

I own 100 CDs or more

I own and use a library card

I read books for pleasure in my spare time.

I sleep a lot during the day.

I strongly dislike math

I watch soap operas on a regular basis.

I will try almost anything once.

I work at a job that I enjoy.

I would classify myself as ghetto.

I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.

I am currently wearing socks.

I am tired.

I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt.

I have had/have a broken heart

Graduated High School.

Smoked cigarettes. (-ed- i know its bad)

Rode every ride at an amusement park.

Collected something really stupid.

Gone to a rock concert. (years ago)

Helped someone.

Gone fishing.

Watched four movies in one night.

Gone long periods of time with out sleep.

Lied to someone.

Been dumped.

Failed a class.

Taken a college level course.

Been in a car accident.

Been in a tornado.

Watched someone die.

Been to a funeral.

Burned yourself. (accidentally)

Ran a marathon.

Your parents got divorced.

Cried yourself to sleep.

Spent over $200 in one day.

Flown on a plane.

Cheated on someone.
cheated on. (both were teenage stuff...nothing serious)

Written a 10 page letter.

Gone skiing.

Been sailing.

Cut yourself.

Had a best friend.

Lost someone you loved.

Shoplifted something.

Been to jail.

Had detention.

Skipped school.

Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.

Stolen books from the library.

Gone to a different country.

Dropped out of school.

Been in a mental hospital.

Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.

Fired a gun.

Gambled in a casino.

Had a yard sale.

Been in a school play.

Been fired from a job.

Taken a lie detector test.

Swam with dolphins.

Gone to sea world.

Attempted suicide.

Voted for Pop Idol.(Arabic Super Star or Star Academy)
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.

Gone to Europe.

Loved someone you couldn’t have.

Had surgery.

Had stitches.

Taken a taxi.

Seen the Washington Monument.

Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.

Had a drug or alcohol problem.

Been in a fist fight.

Suffered any form of abuse.

Had a hamster.

Petted a wild animal.

Used a credit card.

Gone surfing in California.

Dyed your hair.

Got a tattoo. (dont ever get one...what will i tell my grandkids..haha)

Had something pierced. (my tounge...when i was 18..it last only 2 weeks till my father wrestled me to the ground and took it out)

Got straight A’s.

Your parents sent you to a shrink.

Been handcuffed.

Known someone with HIV or AIDS.

Taken pictures with a webcam.

Started a fire.

Had a party while your parents weren’t home.

Gotten caught having a party while they were gone.

unexpected changes

2010-08-21T12:49:00.000-07:00

This was one of the longest weeks I’ve had in a long time. Marcel quit his job yesterday. For the past few months he hasn’t been happy at work. He’s been working at the company for a year and half..and they were really great to him. The only thing was, he was hired for one thing…and the company took a turn and decided everyone in their office would do something completely different. He didn’t like it…they even offered him more money….but he wasn’t happy and he came home stressed out every evening.

I’m really proud of him for hanging in there for so long! He left on good terms and they will write him a letter of reference, for future employment Marcel seeks. I kind of prefer he stays home for a while. He took this job before the cancer relapsed. I just don’t want him over working himself and worrying about unimportant things. I want him to get better and healthy.
…..
River starts school this coming Monday. I have my baby for only 3 more years :(

His summer was awesome! He was barley home and did a lot of traveling. He came home from his most recent trip in Oregon with his best friend and his parents. They did a whole lot. I’m really grateful that the parents of Rivers friend are very involved and a little crazy like me (crazy as in…they need to know the parents…want all the info ect.). It makes it very easy letting my child venture out. They barley met at the begging of the school year when they both joined ROTC. Even though it’s only been a year, they’re like brothers!

I have no idea where the end of this road is going to take us….but wherever it does…we’ll get through it

to those who say i hate america.....

2010-08-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

You’re wrong. I love being a Lebanese American. I’m so proud! Aside from raising a very proud son who has decided he wants to join the Marines one day.....I also have a photo that was taken in 2006 in our Apartment in Lebanon. It was just a few weeks before we had to evacuate. The quality is bad...because we took it with a web camera so looong ago when we used to chat online with our family. Anyways, if you look closely at this photo...behind me and my husband, on our door there’s an American Flag. During the world cup that year...i put that same American Flag on our balcony. I only brought it back in the apartment when USA was no longer competing.
so even though i really hate this photo...I just wanted you all to see, I Love USA even when I'm in Lebanon...and vice versa :)

A Mosque near ground zero

2010-08-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

For the past few weeks I’ve been randomly hearing about a mosque being built a few blocks from ground zero. It’s been online, on TV, even on the KGO news talk radio I listen to every evening driving home from work. I’ve put off writing about it, because it’s extremely frustrating to me.

It appears some people are saying it’s un-sensitive to those who lost a family member in the twin towers, to have a mosque so close to ground zero.

My answer is …~Muslims also lost family members in the attack~ are their feelings not valid?

We live in the USA. Freedom of religion is one of the best things about our country. Its not freedom of religion, when one religion is singled out.

There are American Muslims. So it would actually be Americans who would benefit from a mosque.
My issue with people opposing this is, if it were another religion wishing to build a house of worship…there would be no problem. It’s almost like we are allowing the terrorists to continue to win. How are they winning? Well lets see…were allowing them to create a divide in our society. And Muslims are being seen as something they are not.
I truly believe that the terrorists of 9/11 hated Islam. They hated the society they were raised in….And the limitations they were raised with. They blame Islam for the way they were raised. To be honest…some countries in the Middle East are ultra conservative. And they hated that! So what a better to fight it…but to make everyone around the world hate Islam…and assume that all Muslims are bad. They wanted to make Islam suffer…and it’s working!
Well I’m not Muslim. And I just feel that we are allowing those terrible terrorist continue to win. We are allowing them to change our country into being un-accepting, and creating an even bigger divide on religion. I don’t think god is happy with us. I don’t care what anyone says…I’m a Christian who lived in the Middle East. I have family there…and was never treated any different for my religion. Christians and Muslims have more in common than not.
We need to get over such things. We can’t move forward in life…if we are making a group of people pay for what a few lost souls choose to do.
Who are the people who would oppose such a thing anyway? Do they really think its ok to take the rights of there fellow countrymen away?

I pray the Muslims of this area will get there Mosque!
I’d really love to hear your thoughts on this.

just another one of my rants

2010-08-09T18:25:00.000-07:00

Since my mother in law went back to Lebanon, life got even more busy that normal. For 2 months she was doing all the cooking, laundry, cleaning…and all we had to do was wake up, and go to work. It was a mini vacation for my mother as well…because for the past few years’ she’s been our support, as well as helping raise River. When my mother in law was here…my mother really enjoyed as well. But now it’s just Marcel, River (river will be in Oregon till next Saturday), me and Fluffy. My mother is staying with her sister. She (my aunt) was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer recently, and is currently receiving chemo and radiation. Since my mother has experience being a caregiver for Marcel, she went to do the same for her sister. My mother is doing great since her own surgery….she didn’t need another stent…the one she had, just needed to opened more (I don’t get it).

So aside from doing our own laundry and taking care of ourselves, and everyone’s medical problems….we’ve been great :) no really, we have. 3 weeks ago, we went to Santa Cruz for a romantic weekend.....it was amazing! If anyone here is married, the best thing for a marriage is to get away for a few days alone. It’s so easy to let life live you…instead of living life itself.

There’s so much drama going on between Lebanon and the IDF. To those who think they know, but don’t. This most recent conflict had nothing to do with Hezbollah…the IDF were in an area they were not authorized to be in. The conflict was between the “LAF” and the “IDF”. I’ve been getting a lot of hate email from Israeli supporters, so I will be disabling my email options.

I wish that everyone could see the real truth what’s going on in Lebanon…that Christians, Muslims, Druze, Jewish and atheists (yes there are Jews and atheists’ in Lebanon, they are few but they exist) live in Peace. I get so sick every time I hear someone call Lebanon an Islamic Nation. Not because I dislike Islam (because many of closest friends are Muslim)….but because it’s not true. It’s like the rest of the world doesn’t realize there is a large Middle Eastern population who is Christian…but outside of the Middle East they act like we don’t exist. Of course it has to do with politics….but Hello….the Lebanese President is Christian. I met someone the other day here at the hospital…and they told me I was a liar that I was Christian…because there are no Christians in the Middle East. I was in shock…she told me that Christians had there hands cut up..and were stoned to death. I walked away from the Lady…what could I say?

I hope that everyone in Lebanon has a safe rest of summer (and everyone else around the world)… I really miss swimming in the Mediterranean Sea

SGN-35 working...and Fluffy

2010-07-13T04:56:00.000-07:00

I'm so sorry for being MIA this past month. I’ll give you a quick update first. My mother-in-law went back to Lebanon June 30th. my mother hasn’t been feeling well for a while now, and she will have an angiogram this Thursday to see of she needs another stent (but she will be just fine...she has a history of heart issues and diabetes but she pretty much knows her body), we got a new kitty. First we thought it was a he and his name was Tigger....but we found out he’s really a she, so now her name is Fluffy (the flash reflects in her eyes...she looks so scarey in this photo)

And the best news.....
All of your prayers are working!
Marcel had a scan...and on June 28th his doctor told us the clinical trail he’s on (SGN-35) is working. Almost all of the cancer is gone, except for a small spot in his chest area. We were so nervous because they told us if it wasn’t working they'd have to take him off of it....and now were just in heaven with his progress! I really wish that the FDA approves this treatment that he is on. There are so many other people in the same situation he was in, with no options...and this treatment could be a blessing for so many others.

I’m posting this at 4:36am because I’m working graveyard… and I really miss my bed right now. I don’t even know my brain is functioning at this time….but I really miss blogging. Now that everyone in my home has a kitty to play with, there’s always a free computer I can get on to blog. There are so many things to write about….but I promise to find the time this week.

SHAKIRA -WORLD CUP FIFA 2010

2010-06-11T14:17:00.000-07:00

Today was my husbands’ day to sleep in. he took the week off because he had treatment Monday and daily 2 hour ECG’s (Tues, Wed, Thurs).

I thought he’d still be asleep when I left for work (10am)….but he was awake and in the shower at 6am this morning. WHY??? Because that’s the time the world cup started here in California. I’m going to miss experiencing the world cup in Lebanon this year :( here in the states I haven’t seen one flag anywhere. No one has even mentioned the world cup. I won’t be able to watch all the games this year….and I envy everyone in Leb this year….having fun, and experiencing the fun with family and neighbors, I miss that!

Shakira again performed for the world cup (she did hips don’t lie in Germany 2006)… aside from Shakira being LEBANESE/Columbian … she’s fantastic! She is so multicultural in her singing. I just love her music…and dancing!

Below is the performance she gave for this years world cup (I included the lyrics below it)….

Shakira Waka Waka Lyrics
(FIFA WORLD CUP 2010 theme)

You're a good soldier
Choosing your battles
Pick yourself up
And dust yourself off
And back in the saddle

You're on the frontline
Everyone's watching
You know it's serious
We're getting closer
This isnt over

The pressure is on
You feel it
But you've got it all
Believe it

When you fall get up
Oh oh...
And if you fall get up
Oh oh...

Tsamina mina
Zangalewa
Cuz this is Africa

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh

Tsamina mina zangalewa
Anawa aa
This time for Africa

Listen to your god
This is our motto
Your time to shine
Dont wait in line
Y vamos por Todo

People are raising
Their Expectations
Go on and feed them
This is your moment
No hesitations

Today's your day
I feel it
You paved the way
Believe it

If you get down
Get up Oh oh...
When you get down
Get up eh eh...

Tsamina mina zangalewa

Anawa aa
This time for Africa

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh

Tsamina mina zangalewa
Anawa aa

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
This time for Africa

……..

She also performed hips don’t lie (the song she did for 2006) so I will post this years performance of the song

And the performance she did in 2006

Sandra Bullock MTV video awards

2010-06-07T19:26:00.000-07:00

Did anyone watch the MTV video awards yesterday? I only watched because I really wanted to see Sandra Bullock. I haven’t written about her…but I’ve been following the drama her husband brought to her from the beginning.
She is seriously one classy woman! After last night, I admire her to the fullest :)
I’m sure that she is still hurting deeply…but she carried herself so beautifully!
The funny part of her speaking was a kiss she had with Scarlett Johansen. My mother in law was like “haram”…I told her it was only for fun. She still didn’t get it and was so upset …haha

Watch the 2010 MTV Movie Awards at MTV.com!

My World and More ..: And the Reason is .....Smoking

2010-06-04T21:51:00.000-07:00

My World and More ..: And the Reason is .....Smoking

one of my friends father is currently in a coma...please keep Wafa' , her father and family in your prayers!

Helen Thomas "Jews should “get the hell out of Palestine.”

2010-06-04T19:23:00.000-07:00

I was going through the news and found this article...all i can say is Helen Thomas is one brave woman! of course she made a mistake by using the word "Jew" because jews arent the issue. Zionists are the issue. i think sometimes people get confused with the difference between the 2. i love Jewish people! they went through a lot because of their religion. however zionists are another story!

So Helen Thomas, your awesome! next time use the word zionist...because there is a BIG difference. there are jews who are against the zionists nation.

ps...considering her position, i'd say that shes fed up with that country using the USA!
link and article below

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/06/04/white-house-reporter-helen-thomas-apologizes-saying-jews-hell-palestine
.................................
Helen Thomas Apologizes for Saying Jews Should 'Get the Hell Out of Palestine' Published June 04, 2010
FOXNews.com

Veteran White House reporter Helen Thomas has issued an apology after saying in an interview that Jews should “get the hell out of Palestine.”
Thomas, a longtime White House correspondent who now writes a column for Hearst newspapers, made the comments May 27 after a White House Jewish heritage event.
Asked by Rabbi David Nesenoff of RabbiLive.com if she had “any comments on Israel,” Thomas replied, “Tell them to get the hell out of Palestine.”
Thomas went on to say that the Palestinian people “are occupied and it’s their land” and that Israelis should “go home” -- to Poland, Germany, America “and everywhere else.”
In a written statement issued Friday, Thomas apologized, saying, “I deeply regret my comments I made last week regarding the Israelis and the Palestinians.”
She said the comments “do not reflect” her “heart-felt belief that peace will come to the Middle East only when all parties recognize the need for mutual respect and tolerance.”
“May that day come soon,” she added.

videos from the flotilla being attacked!

2010-06-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

its against the law to take over a ship in international waters...only pirates do such things!

advice for the married

2010-06-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

when an inlaw is visiting, sleep with clothes on...just in case they decide to walk in your room in the morning to see if you want coffee :S

Isreal attacks Flotilla in International waters (flotilla filled with humanitarian aid)

2010-05-31T14:46:00.000-07:00

This past week I’ve been reading a lot about a “flotilla” taking much essential supplies to the Palestinian people. These are supplies that Israelis’ decided for whatever reasons, Palestinians aren’t allowed to have.

What are these supplies that Israel denies the Palestinian people from having? Cement and other building materials to fix and build homes, Binding paper to make school books for children, pencils, medical equipment (updated dental equipment, blood testing devices, ultrasound machines, and electric wheelchairs), toys for children (Palestinian children deserve a childhood)…even certain food items among many other things.

The people who are taking these items are activists, peacekeepers, and just ordinary people mainly from Europe who believe that everyone deserves to have essential items and dignity.
I could go on and on about this…but I’m sure you’ve heard how the Israelis navy raided the aid ships…and conflict broke out. And people were murdered.
These people weren’t there to fight…they were their to deliver much needed aid to a people who have been bulldozed into small neighborhoods, BY people who claim a land based on religion, and are building themselves some nice homes for more more people who have no roots in the land to move into.

It almost seems as though there is some type of brainwashing going on in Israel. They constantly bring up all of the terrible things that have happened to them.
If a situation arises somewhere around the world where people are being murdered for religion or race …the Israelis’ must speak up…and remind everyone about the holocaust, and let others know that they suffered the worst tragedy and none other will ever compare…and of course take away from whatever situation is going on at the time.
They are treating the Palestinians like crap and don’t have any compassion because in their heads ~nothing is worse that what happened to us~.

I never been to Palestine…I don’t even have any close Palestinian friends. But I’m a mother…and I could never imagine having to raise a child in the circumstances those mothers have to. It’s just not fair.

I mostly get upset that people blindly support Israel. People assume that Israel has always been their and the Palestinians are just fighting over borders. And when people don’t support Israel they are called anti-Semitic …which is just wrong! Because it implies racism. There are Jewish people are against Zionism (Israel as a state)…and how can a Jewish person be anti-Semitic?
Some Christians even believe in order to be a good Christian we must support Israel! Wrong again! Some churches are run by Zionists in order to get support and continue the brainwashing that us Christians just allow instead of finding out the truth.

This is just one many situations where the Israelis’ act like they are the victims even thought they are the ones victimizing.
This kind of reminds me of Rachel Corrie (a young American girl murdered for no good reason).

( i just want to add that i never reffer to Palestine as "Isreal" and i reffer to the people of "isreal" as Zionists) ...i just used these words in this post incase someone reads this post doesnt know what zionist means :)

did spring even happen this year?

2010-05-25T18:20:00.000-07:00

Thank god I took the car to work today…because its raining! I even wore sandals to work today.

Summer is officially less than a week away…and its pouring in the bay area.
I don’t ever remember it raining so late in the year. And the forecast shows it wont let up until Friday.
Every time it appeared spring was starting, it would rain again. We have a running joke at work that we will start spring for the 9th time this year….to bad it’s almost summer.
Anyone else have a weird year of weather?

Our day in Fresno...yummy Kibbeh Niyyeh!

2010-05-24T22:46:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who gave advice for the gift...we had such a fun time in Fresno. Every time i drive on the 152 i love passing this lake..i call it the California Nile River.

we had the best lunch..and the best part was there was kibbeh niyyeh! they have a really good butcher. its really hard to get niyyeh here. it was so fresh that i even brought some home and was able to have it for lunch today at work (of course everyone was grossed out...haha i had no takers to try it).

We arrived about 10am...had breakfast...left my mother in law and River at their home. Then me and Marcel went for a nice walk.

when we arrived back, we talked, laughed and just caught up on life.

Their daughters are so polite, and just really great girls! one of the girls even had her friend over. River blended in really great, like they were long lost cousins.

Marcel got BBQ marinating tips from Robert (i swear his BBQ was so delcious. It was as if we were eating food fresh from the butcher in Lebanon.

They have the sweetest puppy named Bella. She knew so many tricks. they never sent her to be trained...she learned at home. she was giving Marcel a high five!

We had so much fun that the time went by so fast. I went to tell River it was time to go home...and he was passed out in their TV room with Bella.

We will be visiting them again next month for their oldest daughters graduation. the nice thing is, they dont live as far as we thought.

my mother in law with the daughters of our friends (left~Arline Right~Ahni)

gift ideas?

2010-05-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow were driving out to Fresno, to visit old neighbors who used to live in Lebanon. I’ve had 2 weeks to find them a gift to take..but have procrastinated. Its 8:15am and I have until about 5 pm to decide what to get them. I told my husband I will go to the mall after dinner to get a gift to take them. What do I take??? I have no ideas. They are a married couple with 2 teenage daughters. Please help…any ideas?

pacman on google

2010-05-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

pac man is alive today on google
have you played today?
http://www.google.com/

getting personal

2010-05-18T18:15:00.000-07:00

Most of you who read this blog know so much about my life…..one thing I don’t discuss much is my son’s future plans. Honestly I’ve barley came to terms with this new direction in life…or maybe I’m still trying to get there.

For the past few years my son was going on and on about being a Doctor. He said he wanted to do his bachelors in Lebanon, his masters in France and his Doctorate in USA. What more could a mother want from her child?

Then my son started high school, and joined JROTC. Then the plan changed. He turned from a hip hop/rocker boy into a wanna be Marine. It was a pretty quick transition. It started out without me realizing what was going on. He would tell me he was spending Saturday and Sunday volunteering somewhere…and I’d drop him off at 5 am early in the morning, only to be shocked to see him in uniform. I’d see a bunch of other parents dropping their cadets off (I wonder if they were half asleep to). In the beginning it was 1 weekend a month….eventually it got more frequent. Now it’s random.

The program is run by real Marines, so my son has become friends with a few, and even does physical training on the weekends with recruits who are close to joining the Marines.

My son has big dreams. He doesn’t want to enlist out of high school; he wants to go to Annapolis. A Naval university (I guess Marines going to Uni go to Naval academy’s). He wants to become an Officer…and that requires a degree.

Basically I was against this all in the beginning. Me and my husband had numerous arguments about this in the beginning of the school year. My husband said it’s not my life. I need to let my son be a man, loosen the strings. I was a basket case :(. I gave in. I thought it’s a phase, it will pass (I prayed that). But it’s beyond a phase now.

My sons reason for wanting to join the Marines? His reason is…he has lived and gone to school in both USA and Lebanon. He didn’t remember USA when he lived in Lebanon because he was so young. But after coming back to USA, he said he realized what freedom is. And he wants to do something meaningfully with his life. I had every possible argument with him.

~I don’t want my child to die before me.

~You speak English/Arabic/French, they will send you to the front, and you won’t last.

~what if you have to kill someone?...and your soul will be in jeopardy.

~What if you have to go to war against Lebanon?

~What if you are ordered to do something against what you believe in?
~What if one of your friends do something wrong to another person considered an enemy? will you speak up for whats right? or will you let it go?

I’ve asked all kinds of psycho questions. He has pretty good responses. He said he’s going in for the right reasons, and he said his ethics and morals will always come to play when he’s in a tough situation. And there have to be good people to do such jobs, it prevents abuse of authority. Basically his ultimate dream is to be a General. So he has big plans, and most likely won’t go to war since he wants to go up the chain ....and be in charge of others. We’ll see what happens.

His summer is already half full. 3 days after school lets out, he will be going to warrior camp. It’s at a military base for ROTC kids. And then when he returns within a few days he will be heading out to Albuquerque New Mexico, because the National Riffle Association (NRA) has its annual Shooting competition. He’s putting his feet into everything he can …so that he will have a good background resume.

This morning I woke up and realized I have 3 more years left with my son. Because once he finishes high school, he will be off. And if I can afford the school he wants to go to, then he will be far across the country. I will always support anything he wants to do…because even if I don’t agree with it, it’s not my life. It’s his.

Rima Fakih Lebanese American Miss USA

2010-05-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

Miss USA is Lebanese….how cool is that? I think it’s awesome! The best part is that she is a Lebanese American Muslim Woman….who’s family celebrates, Muslim and Christian Holidays. I think it’s beautiful, she let others know this! It puts things into perspective for others out there, who maybe don’t realize that we are not so much different, and religion shouldnt seperate anyone.

I’m Maronite…but living part of my life in Lebanon, I didn’t feel the tensions between Christians and Muslims that others speak of. It could be because I was sheltered from stuff, or it could have been my father, who made sure I was never aware of such things. After all my grandmother left the church and married a Muslim man (her 1st husband). She had 2 children with him (a boy and a girl). Her husband passed away, and then she returned to her family (her children stayed with her late husbands’ family). Then she met and married myG’pa.

My father always told me that god would never accept for my relationship with him, to interfere with the beliefs of others. …I don’t know ha-ha. I guess my father was progressive, even though I sometimes felt he were the warden of my prison.
Anyways…awesome for her!!!!

Elie Cherfan and Lebanons medical system

2010-05-11T13:14:00.000-07:00

Sunday evening we were watching TV…and my husband was on his iPod checking his messenger. He got a message from my brother in law saying that someone was dead, and then he disappeared from messenger. Marcel went to the computer to try to get someone from the family online…tried calling family in Leb, but couldn’t seem to contact anyone.

It turns out a friend of the family died in a motorcycle accident. His name is Elie Cherfan. He was 33 years old (I think). My mother in law called his step mother in Leb on our Monday morning…and it’s so tragic to learn what happened.
If you’ve been to Lebanon, you know that driving has always been a major hazard in Leb. I only trust cab drivers to drive me. They are used to the craziness on the roads.
From everything I heard…what happened is that he was in Batroun on a highway…. a truck was coming from the opposite direction, on the wrong side of the road, and hit him. They also said that his friends got him to the hospital and he was alive…but the hospital didn’t do anything for him…he died in the hospital. Then when his parents went to get his body, the hospital told then they needed to pay $5,000usd to the hospital before they can take his body. His family didn’t have this money (they really don’t have any extra money set aside for emergency…and live in a not very good area of bourj hammoud)…and issues arose…well his family went to the morgue (I believe there may have been a lot of his friends with them as well)…and they just took his body. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for someone to have to basically carry a dead family member out of a hospital…it just sounds traumatizing.
It’s so pathetic that in this day in time…(and Lebanon does have an advanced medical care)…that the hospitals ask for money in advance of treating a patient, where is the ethics, And the oaths, that doctors take to help any in need?
When we lived in Lebanon…we didn’t have health insurance. So we used to make sure we had $10,000 in our savings account at all times, just in case a situation arose that involved medical care. My husband always told me. If something happens, the hospital will want cash upfront before they will do anything for you. for him to say such things…kind of freaked me out, because here in the California, anyone can walk into an emergency room and get treatment no matter the ability to pay.
When Marcel got sick in 2006 and we found out he had cancer. His fathers company (and my husbands old company (Société Générale de Banque au Liban) paid for his medical bills. which was a great relief to us. But every time my husband went in to get chemo, we had to pay $740.00usd before they would treat him.
I know there are a lot of things in Lebanon that could make life better for the people….but access to healthcare is one of the most necessary things. Especially, in a emergency situation. I wonder if things will ever change.
When we moved to California because I couldn’t handle the 2006 war…my husband had just been diagnosed with cancer, and we weren’t even sure he would be able to get treatment. But thank god we did come to California. Because now knowing all of the treatments my husband needed…and the bone marrow transplants, and clinical trials. Living in Lebanon, we never would have been able to get him all of the treatment he received here….and most likely he would have already been gone.
With that…I don’t think we can ever move back to Lebanon. These past years we have come up with dreams during out time here in California …like; we’ll save money for 5 years, and move back to Leb and open a small grocery store…and live above it. But I can’t see how that can ever happen.
Yes there is healthcare in Lebanon…but many people do not have access to it….and with Marcel’s condition he’d never be insurable in Lebanon.
It’s so sad for those who have to worry about getting sick, or being diagnosed with illnesses, or who are murdered by someone driving in the wrong lane.

God bless my husbands’ friend…and all those who are close to him. It’s truly sad to know someone is taken to such a tragic situation.

interupted sleep

2010-05-05T13:39:00.001-07:00

I’ve been staying up late, and waking up early since my mother in law arrived. Last night I went to bed around 1am. It usually takes a minimum of 30 minutes of tossing and turning to actually get to sleep (often it takes 1 hour to an hour and a half)...last night was no different.

I was finally off in dreamland ….and I hear some strange sound. It sounds what I would think of as pshycadelic. I thought I was dreaming. I look at my clock and it says 3:30am. I got out of bed and realized it was coming from downstairs.

~BACKGROUND STORY BREAK ~
(we bought my mother a lap top last year for Christmas..and she went from knowing nothing about technology…to becoming a facebook addict. She spam’s us all the time…and always wants to go home when we take her out to feed her people or water her crops)
~BACK TO STORY~

Ok …so I call out to my mother. I thought maybe she is downstairs on one of her all night internet marathons. She doesn’t answer. The sound is so creepy! I walk down the stairs slowly, and continue to call her name. The weird music is very loud…but I cant figure out where its coming from. I thought I was in a dream. I look around the room start to feel my skin, touch my skin, lick my teeth (lol) ..to make sure I was awake. I was so scared.
I finally found my mothers laptop on a table and opened the lid…the screen said locked. But I realized that the sound was coming from it. I was pressing buttons that were on the side of the laptop trying to turn the sound of…nothing worked. I ran upstairs so mad that I wasn’t asleep …I opened her bedroom door and told her turn her computer off….and she started laughing because what happened….OMG I flipped out when she started laughing. I was like..”I should be asleep, your addicted to the damm internet, this is ridiculous! Ect.”
I feel really bad for yelling…even my mother in law and husband were standing the hall watching me make a scene.
This morning when I left for work…my mother was still in bed (probably so she didn’t have to run into me). I feel so bad for getting upset with her ….I think I’ve gotten upset with my mother maybe one other time over the past 2 1/2 years that she’s lived with us. Sure sometimes I get irritated…but I just get over it, because she’s my mother.

I just felt the need to confess my guilt…and share my crazy and weird experience with you.

mloukhieh for dinner!

2010-05-03T13:00:00.000-07:00

I woke up to the most amazing smell this morning….my mother in law cooking! She arrived on Saturday afternoon.

It’s a nice change… I love my mother dearly…but her cooking doesn’t have much flavor…ha-ha. But my mom is enjoying it as well.

Marcel started his treatments…finally! So he is on the SGN-35 clinical trial…I will post about his treatment on my other blog dedicated him (if your interested in reading about his journey with Hodgkin’s you can find it by going to my profile I think).

So my mother in law will be here for 2 months. The last time she was here was about a year and half ago. Yesterday just the 2 of us went to the mall, and it was fun…but I think I wont take her anywhere near a register anymore LOL. She was so upset by the prices here.

Since it looks like I won’t be doing much outside of work for the next 2 months…I’m happy, because I can read blogs and blog again in my free time. I really miss it. I think I might even get a messenger…but I’m not sure which one. My husband has yahoo and msn…but I only want 1….any ideas which one is better?

I hope you’re all doing great!

marcel/vegas (photos of marcel and his cousin meeting for the 1st time)...your prayers work!

2010-04-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

i just want you all to know that your amazing! your prayers have really helped us. the clinical trial they told Marcel he couldnt do...well, they will let him do it. they will start him on the tratment April 26th. and i trully appreciate all of your prayers. i wont go to much into detail on Marcel because i just finished posting here about him. seriously though...thank you all from everything in my heart!

We had so much in Vegas! Marcel hasnt uploaded our photos but i just went to his cousins facebook and took 2 photos of them from her album.

Thje flight to Vegas was the worst tublance i have ever went through. me and Marcel were seperated on the flight because we arrived right at the end of boarding. so i ended up sitting next to the nicest lady.. when the turbulance got bad, i started praying. the women noticed my praying, grabed my hand and talked to me the whole time.loool. i hate the small planes!
the woman asked me if it was the first time i was flying. she didnt believe me when i told her ive never gone more than 1 1/2 years at a time without taking a plane trips...and more overseas than domestic flights.
those small planes...you can feel everything!

when we finally got checked into our room...our friends had already got us vip passes to the club Tao...but i told marcel i was feeling ill...because i had his cousin there (and i assumed we would do that type of stuff the next day). so he told them we will see them in morning...and he went to take a shower.
i called vikki and told her to come down. as he almost done getting dressed...the door knocked.and i went for my camera (photo not uploaded yet) and marcel gave her the biggest hug! it lasted a long time :) and she later told me he was shaking..like he was so shocked and happy. Vikki battled the same cancer that marcel over 20 years ago.
Vikki was so very sweet!
we spent the whole first evening with her alone..we went to dinner, and did a little exploring...then we walked her to her room at 1:30 am.
as we were just entering our room...the phone was ringing. It was our friends letting us know it was morning and they were on their way up. we ending up going to the casino area until 6am..i took $100. to a 10 minimum black jack table...and left with $300 wich of course went up and down the whole trip....and ended up leaving with a lot less than i arrived with ....but we had a lot of fun.
i dont drink much because i hate the taste of alcohol...but on Saturday, we went to old town Vegas to do sightseeing...and one of the casinos had a really big drink... i had been seeing everyone with them. me and yvette both got one...they were so sweet we ddint realize how much alochol we actually drank (because we even got a refill...big mistake). we are the ones who never drink...and by 1 pm we were in love with everyone..especially the bartender who made our drinks..

ok....i'm on my way everyones blogs and get caught up on your lives.
you have all been so patient and understanding with me these past months...i'm trully blessed to have so many amazing people praying for my family...thank you all!

MIA, update and a surprise!

2010-03-24T18:03:00.000-07:00

I’m sorry for being MIA for the past few weeks. I’ve really just been spending more time with my family.

I haven’t even checked anyone’s blog in soooo long. I really miss that. So I’m sorry if I’ve missed anything important going on in your lives. I promise to catch up next week.

So on the Marcel update…there’s still not much to update on. Today he was scheduled for a biopsy….just things are taking way to much time to get done..and I’m getting very frustrated. Its been a long while now that his doctors have know he relapsed…and he should be done with all the little stuff and already started treatment.

Its not his BMT doctor that is the hold up…its this new lymphoma doctor he’s seeing. It’s almost like…this isn’t her family she doesn’t seem to care much. Its really to watch my husband be so strong and patient….when I just want to scream at someone and ask them “WTF” . Of course that won’t solve anything. So I will just keep quiet (at my husbands’ request) and trust in god.

Seriously though…I really miss his old lymphoma doctor Sandra Horning. She was amazing! She was a cancer survivor herself…and was so efficient in making sure everything was done in good time.

So hopefully next week they will finally get him started on something or the week after.

Marcel is really amazing. He has still been going to work everyday. I let him know if gets to hard, he should let his job go. But he doesn’t want to. He preffers to be a functioning part of society. He’s truly my hero!

……

Now that I’ve explained some of whats been going on in our lives..i’ll tell you something very personal about me. I’ve been getting really bad anxiety attacks lately. I’m trying to keep it to myself because I don’t want to stress my family any more.

But every night is pure hell for me. I feel like I cant breath. I’ve been getting dizzy., and I have had a period in 2 month(I’m not pregnant…because its impossible with all the chemo and 2 BMT’s marcel has had). Its stress. ...a doctor I know asked me if I wanted a prescription….but I’m just not into taking pills. I know that everyone in the world has issues…and they get through it..so that’s what I’m trying to do.

……………..

After all the misery I wrote about i have a special surprise. Something to smile about.

I wrote over a week ago that were going to Vegas (this weekend) …

But the awesome thing about this trip is that Marcel’s cousin, whom he’s never met, who had the same cancer as him years ago, is traveling from Boston to Las Vegas to see him. He will be so excited. I know it’s not something he will expect….

I was extremely touched when I realized she booked a flight on such short notice.

I’ll update you all with photos after this weekend

Thank you all for your prayers!!

living everyday to the fullest!

2010-03-13T13:25:00.000-08:00

we recently backed out of a trip to Vegas with our good friends after we found out Marcel's cancer came back.
all week my mother has been telling me that we just have to embrace everyday.
so i woke up this morning, went to the internet and booked a trip to Vegas. i;m usually such a planner. i have to plan trips for months in advance. but i am going to try my best to not think about the future anymore, and instead live life as it arrives.
i think i wrote about our BFF's before. Yvette and Sam (and princess Janessa).. for the opast 3 years we have done everything with them. Disneyland, holidays...and both of their family's have turned into our extended family. I'm sure they will be excited to hear the good news when marcel goes to BBQ with them today.(i'm at work)

i was really depressed earlier this week...but to be honest, all of your comments really touched me....i realize nothing good comes from depression...and i have to just stop being selfish and forget about my feelings. i am going to do whatever it takes to keep marcels spirits up. i'm going to put everything on God....and live on faith.

prayers for marcel needed!

2010-03-10T22:00:00.000-08:00

i'm sorry for not updating you all this past week on whats going on.
so marcel had another scan...its not good. the cancer has spread throughout his body. they will do a biopsy next week to see if his its still hodgkins or to see if its changed into non-hodgkins lymphoma or something else (i guess when people relapse the cancer can mutate into another type of cancer.
hopefully in the next 2 weeks they will start him on some type of treatment to control the cancer, but they were were very straight up and let us know it will continue to come back....he may (a big may) go into remission...but he will not be cured..... the treatment they will give him will be low dose because hes had so much high dose treatments that his organs can only take so much.
the worst part?
well they told us that if the treatment they give him helps get rid of the cancer he could live a few years....if not he has a few months. what are we supposed to do with that? i'm so sorry for turning my blog depressing...but this is whats going on in my life right now.

i have a big request for all of you....please ask your family, friends,co-workers, anyone and of course you all to pray for Marcel. we need a miracle! i cant loose my husband.

day by day

2010-02-28T08:50:00.000-08:00

wow...another massive earthquake! global warming is the big issue these days..i wonder if the increased earthquakes could be a result of global warming as well???
i dont know. i just wish that with all these tragic things going on around the world, people would slow down and realize whats important in life. are all the things we fight over even important? is it time to stand up against all the injustices that are happening around the world? maybe those who have never looked outside of their own life will see whats really taking place everyday.
............
marcel just left with his friend to go fishing. and i'm happy. because he is getting out and doing something he enjoys. for me, i will stay home and do laundry :S
tomoro is marcels spet scan. we will see how much the cancer has grown since his last scan in january. i hope not by a lot....and i really hope that we can get an appointment soon so that we can see what the plan is.
im snapping out of my hopeless phase. and will wait to see what comes next.
you have all been amazing! i love my blog readers. your always here when i need to vent, and are very supportive. thanks you all so much!

pathetic rant

2010-02-20T03:54:00.000-08:00

I’m working graveyard tonight and tomorrow night (covering my co-workers shift while she’s sick.
I forgot how much I loath graveyard. My body is so confused right now. The hospital is deserted. For my lunch hour I drove to Safeway to find something healthy to eat. All I found was a Greek salad :(

So my life sucks!
Marcel will not be getting the treatment we hoped because one the meds he’s on disqualifies him from the trial. It’s really so depressing, that I’m very comfortable being depressed right now. Pathetic, right?
I know I’m overreacting and I need to be strong for my husband….but I’m really sick of being strong. I just want to sleep for about a week and then I’ll be able to pull myself together. I can’t talk to anyone in my family…because they don’t even know what to tell me. Then this morning my aunt calls me soooo early to complain about the most insignificant things in the world (I don’t know why she called me..we aren’t even close)…she hung up the phone in tears, after how I explained to her….how her doesn’t really suck!

I don’t like who I’m becoming. Seriously I know I need to snap out of it. I need to just be a really good wife. Marcel deserves that.

terror attack in austin texas (suicide note included)

2010-02-18T11:09:00.000-08:00

just turned the news on.
whats up with people waking up and deciding to kill themselves and try to kill other people?
his name sounds american...joseph andrew stack. he took a single engine plane and slammed it into an IRS building, that empoyes 190 people. he left a suicide note slamming every side....
terrorists are nothing but stupid and selfish people!

below is his posted note (taken from http://activerain.com/blogsview/1501019/joseph-andrew-stack-s-plane-crash-and-suicide-note )

If you’re reading this, you’re no doubt asking yourself, “Why did this have to happen?” The simple truth is that it is complicated and has been coming for a long time. The writing process, started many months ago, was intended to be therapy in the face of the looming realization that there isn’t enough therapy in the world that can fix what is really broken. Needless to say, this rant could fill volumes with example after example if I would let it. I find the process of writing it frustrating, tedious, and probably pointless… especially given my gross inability to gracefully articulate my thoughts in light of the storm raging in my head. Exactly what is therapeutic about that I’m not sure, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

We are all taught as children that without laws there would be no society, only anarchy. Sadly, starting at early ages we in this country have been brainwashed to believe that, in return for our dedication and service, our government stands for justice for all. We are further brainwashed to believe that there is freedom in this place, and that we should be ready to lay our lives down for the noble principals represented by its founding fathers. Remember? One of these was “no taxation without representation”. I have spent the total years of my adulthood unlearning that crap from only a few years of my childhood. These days anyone who really stands up for that principal is promptly labeled a “crackpot”, traitor and worse.

While very few working people would say they haven’t had their fair share of taxes (as can I), in my lifetime I can say with a great degree of certainty that there has never been a politician cast a vote on any matter with the likes of me or my interests in mind. Nor, for that matter, are they the least bit interested in me or anything I have to say.

Why is it that a handful of thugs and plunderers can commit unthinkable atrocities (and in the case of the GM executives, for scores of years) and when it’s time for their gravy train to crash under the weight of their gluttony and overwhelming stupidity, the force of the full federal government has no difficulty coming to their aid within days if not hours? Yet at the same time, the joke we call the American medical system, including the drug and insurance companies, are murdering tens of thousands of people a year and stealing from the corpses and victims they cripple, and this country’s leaders don’t see this as important as bailing out a few of their vile, rich cronies. Yet, the political “representatives” (thieves, liars, and self-serving scumbags is far more accurate) have endless time to sit around for year after year and debate the state of the “terrible health care problem”. It’s clear they see no crisis as long as the dead people don’t get in the way of their corporate profits rolling in.

And justice? You’ve got to be kidding!

How can any rational individual explain that white elephant conundrum in the middle of our tax system and, indeed, our entire legal system? Here we have a system that is, by far, too complicated for the brightest of the master scholars to understand. Yet, it mercilessly “holds accountable” its victims, claiming that they’re responsible for fully complying with laws not even the experts understand. The law “requires” a signature on the bottom of a tax filing; yet no one can say truthfully that they understand what they are signing; if that’s not “duress” than what is. If this is not the measure of a totalitarian regime, nothing is.

How did I get here?

My introduction to the real American nightmare starts back in the early ‘80s. Unfortunately after more than 16 years of school, somewhere along the line I picked up the absurd, pompous notion that I could read and understand plain English. Some friends introduced me to a group of people who were having ‘tax code’ readings and discussions. In particular, zeroed in on a section relating to the wonderful “exemptions” that make institutions like the vulgar, corrupt Catholic Church so incredibly wealthy. We carefully studied the law (with the help of some of the “best”, high-paid, experienced tax lawyers in the business), and then began to do exactly what the “big boys” were doing (except that we weren’t steeling from our congregation or lying to the government about our massive profits in the name of God). We took a great deal of care to make it all visible, following all of the rules, exactly the way the law said it was to be done.

The intent of this exercise and our efforts was to bring about a much-needed re-evaluation of the laws that allow the monsters of organized religion to make such a mockery of people who earn an honest living. However, this is where I learned that there are two “interpretations” for every law; one for the very rich, and one for the rest of us… Oh, and the monsters are the very ones making and enforcing the laws; the inquisition is still alive and well today in this country.

That little lesson in patriotism cost me $40,000+, 10 years of my life, and set my retirement plans back to 0. It made me realize for the first time that I live in a country with an ideology that is based on a total and complete lie. It also made me realize, not only how naive I had been, but also the incredible stupidity of the American public; that they buy, hook, line, and sinker, the crap about their “freedom”… and that they continue to do so with eyes closed in the face of overwhelming evidence and all that keeps happening in front of them.

Before even having to make a shaky recovery from the sting of the first lesson on what justice really means in this country (around 1984 after making my way through engineering school and still another five years of “paying my dues”), I felt I finally had to take a chance of launching my dream of becoming an independent engineer.

On the subjects of engineers and dreams of independence, I should digress somewhat to say that I’m sure that I inherited the fascination for creative problem solving from my father. I realized this at a very young age.

The significance of independence, however, came much later during my early years of college; at the age of 18 or 19 when I was living on my own as student in an apartment in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. My neighbor was an elderly retired woman (80+ seemed ancient to me at that age) who was the widowed wife of a retired steel worker. Her husband had worked all his life in the steel mills of central Pennsylvania with promises from big business and the union that, for his 30 years of service, he would have a pension and medical care to look forward to in his retirement. Instead he was one of the thousands who got nothing because the incompetent mill management and corrupt union (not to mention the government) raided their pension funds and stole their retirement. All she had was social security to live on.

In retrospect, the situation was laughable because here I was living on peanut butter and bread (or Ritz crackers when I could afford to splurge) for months at a time. When I got to know this poor figure and heard her story I felt worse for her plight than for my own (I, after all, I thought I had everything to in front of me). I was genuinely appalled at one point, as we exchanged stories and commiserated with each other over our situations, when she in her grandmotherly fashion tried to convince me that I would be “healthier” eating cat food (like her) rather than trying to get all my substance from peanut butter and bread. I couldn’t quite go there, but the impression was made. I decided that I didn’t trust big business to take care of me, and that I would take responsibility for my own future and myself.

Return to the early ‘80s, and here I was off to a terrifying start as a ‘wet-behind-the-ears’ contract software engineer... and two years later, thanks to the fine backroom, midnight effort by the sleazy executives of Arthur Andersen (the very same folks who later brought us Enron and other such calamities) and an equally sleazy New York Senator (Patrick Moynihan), we saw the passage of 1986 tax reform act with its section 1706.

For you who are unfamiliar, here is the core text of the IRS Section 1706, defining the treatment of workers (such as contract engineers) for tax purposes. Visit this link for a conference committee report (http://www.synergistech.com/1706.shtml#ConferenceCommitteeReport) regarding the intended interpretation of Section 1706 and the relevant parts of Section 530, as amended. For information on how these laws affect technical services workers and their clients, read our discussion here (http://www.synergistech.com/ic-taxlaw.shtml).

SEC. 1706. TREATMENT OF CERTAIN TECHNICAL PERSONNEL.

(a) IN GENERAL - Section 530 of the Revenue Act of 1978 is amended by adding at the end thereof the following new subsection:

(d) EXCEPTION. - This section shall not apply in the case of an individual who pursuant to an arrangement between the taxpayer and another person, provides services for such other person as an engineer, designer, drafter, computer programmer, systems analyst, or other similarly skilled worker engaged in a similar line of work.

(b) EFFECTIVE DATE. - The amendment made by this section shall apply to remuneration paid and services rendered after December 31, 1986.

Note:

· "another person" is the client in the traditional job-shop relationship.

· "taxpayer" is the recruiter, broker, agency, or job shop.

· "individual", "employee", or "worker" is you.

Admittedly, you need to read the treatment to understand what it is saying but it’s not very complicated. The bottom line is that they may as well have put my name right in the text of section (d). Moreover, they could only have been more blunt if they would have came out and directly declared me a criminal and non-citizen slave. Twenty years later, I still can’t believe my eyes.

During 1987, I spent close to $5000 of my ‘pocket change’, and at least 1000 hours of my time writing, printing, and mailing to any senator, congressman, governor, or slug that might listen; none did, and they universally treated me as if I was wasting their time. I spent countless hours on the L.A. freeways driving to meetings and any and all of the disorganized professional groups who were attempting to mount a campaign against this atrocity. This, only to discover that our efforts were being easily derailed by a few moles from the brokers who were just beginning to enjoy the windfall from the new declaration of their “freedom”. Oh, and don’t forget, for all of the time I was spending on this, I was loosing income that I couldn’t bill clients.

After months of struggling it had clearly gotten to be a futile exercise. The best we could get for all of our trouble is a pronouncement from an IRS mouthpiece that they weren’t going to enforce that provision (read harass engineers and scientists). This immediately proved to be a lie, and the mere existence of the regulation began to have its impact on my bottom line; this, of course, was the intended effect.

Again, rewind my retirement plans back to 0 and shift them into idle. If I had any sense, I clearly should have left abandoned engineering and never looked back.

Instead I got busy working 100-hour workweeks. Then came the L.A. depression of the early 1990s. Our leaders decided that they didn’t need the all of those extra Air Force bases they had in Southern California, so they were closed; just like that. The result was economic devastation in the region that rivaled the widely publicized Texas S&L fiasco. However, because the government caused it, no one gave a shit about all of the young families who lost their homes or street after street of boarded up houses abandoned to the wealthy loan companies who received government funds to “shore up” their windfall. Again, I lost my retirement.

Years later, after weathering a divorce and the constant struggle trying to build some momentum with my business, I find myself once again beginning to finally pick up some speed. Then came the .COM bust and the 911 nightmare. Our leaders decided that all aircraft were grounded for what seemed like an eternity; and long after that, ‘special’ facilities like San Francisco were on security alert for months. This made access to my customers prohibitively expensive. Ironically, after what they had done the Government came to the aid of the airlines with billions of our tax dollars … as usual they left me to rot and die while they bailed out their rich, incompetent cronies WITH MY MONEY! After these events, there went my business but not quite yet all of my retirement and savings.

By this time, I’m thinking that it might be good for a change. Bye to California, I’ll try Austin for a while. So I moved, only to find out that this is a place with a highly inflated sense of self-importance and where damn little real engineering work is done. I’ve never experienced such a hard time finding work. The rates are 1/3 of what I was earning before the crash, because pay rates here are fixed by the three or four large companies in the area who are in collusion to drive down prices and wages… and this happens because the justice department is all on the take and doesn’t give a fuck about serving anyone or anything but themselves and their rich buddies.

To survive, I was forced to cannibalize my savings and retirement, the last of which was a small IRA. This came in a year with mammoth expenses and not a single dollar of income. I filed no return that year thinking that because I didn’t have any income there was no need. The sleazy government decided that they disagreed. But they didn’t notify me in time for me to launch a legal objection so when I attempted to get a protest filed with the court I was told I was no longer entitled to due process because the time to file ran out. Bend over for another $10,000 helping of justice.

So now we come to the present. After my experience with the CPA world, following the business crash I swore that I’d never enter another accountant’s office again. But here I am with a new marriage and a boatload of undocumented income, not to mention an expensive new business asset, a piano, which I had no idea how to handle. After considerable thought I decided that it would be irresponsible NOT to get professional help; a very big mistake.

When we received the forms back I was very optimistic that they were in order. I had taken all of the years information to Bill Ross, and he came back with results very similar to what I was expecting. Except that he had neglected to include the contents of Sheryl’s unreported income; $12,700 worth of it. To make matters worse, Ross knew all along this was missing and I didn’t have a clue until he pointed it out in the middle of the audit. By that time it had become brutally evident that he was representing himself and not me.

This left me stuck in the middle of this disaster trying to defend transactions that have no relationship to anything tax-related (at least the tax-related transactions were poorly documented). Things I never knew anything about and things my wife had no clue would ever matter to anyone. The end result is… well, just look around.

I remember reading about the stock market crash before the “great” depression and how there were wealthy bankers and businessmen jumping out of windows when they realized they screwed up and lost everything. Isn’t it ironic how far we’ve come in 60 years in this country that they now know how to fix that little economic problem; they just steal from the middle class (who doesn’t have any say in it, elections are a joke) to cover their asses and it’s “business-as-usual”. Now when the wealthy fuck up, the poor get to die for the mistakes… isn’t that a clever, tidy solution.

As government agencies go, the FAA is often justifiably referred to as a tombstone agency, though they are hardly alone. The recent presidential puppet GW Bush and his cronies in their eight years certainly reinforced for all of us that this criticism rings equally true for all of the government. Nothing changes unless there is a body count (unless it is in the interest of the wealthy sows at the government trough). In a government full of hypocrites from top to bottom, life is as cheap as their lies and their self-serving laws.

I know I’m hardly the first one to decide I have had all I can stand. It has always been a myth that people have stopped dying for their freedom in this country, and it isn’t limited to the blacks, and poor immigrants. I know there have been countless before me and there are sure to be as many after. But I also know that by not adding my body to the count, I insure nothing will change. I choose to not keep looking over my shoulder at “big brother” while he strips my carcass, I choose not to ignore what is going on all around me, I choose not to pretend that business as usual won’t continue; I have just had enough.

I can only hope that the numbers quickly get too big to be white washed and ignored that the American zombies wake up and revolt; it will take nothing less. I would only hope that by striking a nerve that stimulates the inevitable double standard, knee-jerk government reaction that results in more stupid draconian restrictions people wake up and begin to see the pompous political thugs and their mindless minions for what they are. Sadly, though I spent my entire life trying to believe it wasn’t so, but violence not only is the answer, it is the only answer. The cruel joke is that the really big chunks of shit at the top have known this all along and have been laughing, at and using this awareness against, fools like me all along.

I saw it written once that the definition of insanity is repeating the same process over and over and expecting the outcome to suddenly be different. I am finally ready to stop this insanity. Well, Mr. Big Brother IRS man, let’s try something different; take my pound of flesh and sleep well.

The communist creed: From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.

The capitalist creed: From each according to his gullibility, to each according to his greed.

Joe Stack (1956-2010)

02/18/2010

what does it take to shut down Stanford Hospital?

2010-02-17T15:09:00.000-08:00

a lot of fog and a small aircraft.

a small aircraft hit a power tower then landed in a home daycare. the pilot and his 2 passengers didnt make it. but no one on the ground lost their life.

So as im comming close to the hospital i notice that all of the street lights are out. When i get in the hospital everything is dim...and then i realize i have to use the restroom. no lights!
aside from a few departments only the units have necessary emergency power outlets (thank god our dept is one with computer access and minimal power...otherwise i wouldnt be able to vent right now)

its soooo stuffy and hot and im getting a headache because of i dont know what...but wow. how did people live years ago?

actually in Lebanon we used to live like this . sometimes our power was on...sometimes it wasnt. but it never seemed as dramatic as it does when it happens here in states...

and what caused the power loss? this power tower shut most of palo alto down and all of stanford hospital, the university and the childrens hospital are all down..

....just to go a little deeper on the power in Lebanon.

a few times the power was litteraly out most of the day...so at like 2 am the power turned back on...and out of no where i jump up..put clothes in the washer, my son turns on the tv and my husband turns on

the computer...i go out to the balcony, and notice that many other families are doing the same thing..loool

valentines mixup

2010-02-13T13:14:00.000-08:00

so i got off of work early yesterday....marcel gave me the story of him having to go back to work.
when we got home, i told him river wasnt answering his cell phone...so he told me to send him a text through a application he has on his ipod touch. he opened the application, pulled rivers name up..and told me to send him a message. (well i didnt know that applications have advertisments like the internet....because i only use his ipod to listen to music he downloaded.) so i see a add pop up (i didnt know it was a ad) it said "gay chat" i flipped out...and he was trying to explain to me it was a add...but i wasnt hearing what he said...and i through his ipod and damaged it just a little.
then he left to work ...returned 30 minutes later, and brought me roses, lillies and a bear. (he lied about work to get me the flowers because all day i was emailing him about how my coworker had flowers sent to the office by her boyfriend (who doesnt even have a job) ...so he had been planning all day how to surprise me.....

when he seen me on my blogger a minute ago, he told me that i should post this to make you all laugh.

i feel so bad becasue i almost ruined valentines weekend...and my son thinks its funny...so he keeps showing me the ipod everytime a ad pops up to make me feel bad :(

....so i hope you all had a good laugh...and enjoy your vanetines weekend...weather it be with your spouse...or just your good friends :)

President Clinton

2010-02-11T14:04:00.000-08:00

its my day off...so im watching the news....
President Clinton was taken to the hospital for chest pains. he's my favorite president (the personal issues he had...were personal) but as far as a representative for the USA...he's the best!
i hope he will be ok...and get well soon!

My husbands long journey with Hodgkin's: SGN-35

2010-02-10T19:56:00.000-08:00

i dont have much info on Marcels treatment...but it looks like he will do a clinical trial in early March. i've been doing as much research as i can...

My husbands long journey with Hodgkin's: SGN-35

American Bedu and Abdullah

2010-02-09T22:01:00.000-08:00

i really enjoy being on blogger because i'm able to communicate with others who understand life being american/middle eastern....just the differences of living between both cultures. i really love everytime i find a Lebanese blogger.....but i also follow others whos lives are very interesting to me.

i started reading (Carol's) american bedu's blog June 2009. she always has the most amazing blogs as her life from an American Diplomat turned to a Saudi wife. just these past months i've read her love story between her and her husband Abdullah....and more recently i learned that both Carol and her husband have been fighting cancer.

the love of her life passed away yesterday morning. he was suffering from lukemia. he was being treated here in the states...and was able to return to him homeland of Saudi Arabia just this past week.
Carol is still here in the states...her and her husband were being treated at different facilities...so they didnt get these past holidays together. she is still undergoing treatment for breast cancer.
please keep Carol and her very much loved husband in your prayers....

Cancer is a misery...and cures need to be found!

just a few more days.....

2010-02-05T19:22:00.000-08:00

i'm still here.... this has been the longest i have gone without being on blogger. i need a few more days to get my head clear...but i promise to be back after this weekend :)

so what have i been doing when im not at work...and everyones asleep at my home this past week?
listening to "paramore, flyleaf or metric" ...thats my plan tonight as well. why???? because i feel so low latley...and music has always been therapy for me. i guess i just need to be depressed and let it all out....

i promise to come back next week with a more happier Angie :)

i added the links of a few of the songs..

Challenged!

2010-02-01T15:02:00.000-08:00

Challenged!

I was tagged by Pink Flower. Its the first time this ever happend! how exciting :)

When you get it you're supposed to write 7 things about yourself and also give it away to 7 others and "link them".

So here we go. 7 things about myself:

1. my favorite thing to eat is "shankleesh" unfortunatly i cant find it here in the states...so i use feta cheese to make a fake salad (w/onions, tomatoes, olive oil, lemon, spice and sumac)

2. even though i have a very busy job....i spend a lot of the day with blogger open to read my favorite blogs :)

3. i usually only cook dinner for my family 1 time a week(2 times max)... my mother cooks the rest of the days since i'm at work until late. (my husband, son and mother loooove my cooking because i only make traditional Lebanese meals when i do i cook...so its a treat for them)

4. i hate watching wrestling raw or smackdown...but i'm usually stuck watching it at least 3 times a week, because my husband and son love it...so much that they get notifications when they will be in town.

5. one of my favorite things to do...is go to the mountians and target practice! i have a good shot!

6. i need tabouli, hummus and olives on the table for a meal to be meal to me :)

7. every night when i arrive home from work...the first thing i do is go upstairs and ask my son how his day was ...its usually almost bed time...but even just giving him 10 minutes seems to keep the lines of communication open.
.............................................
so the 7 bloggers i tag are

Wafa'
Nurul
Mona
My Getaway
Eyes Serene
Stacy aka Fahiima
Manal

Remember to challenge 7 other bloggers and link them in your blogpost, don't forget to link me too :)

lossing my mind over nothing

2010-01-27T18:15:00.000-08:00

I think I’m slowly loosing my mind: S

My mother is visiting relatives of her late husband for 2 weeks. She really enjoys visiting them. Even though my son is 14 years old…I still freak out over him. Both Marcel and I are at work when he gets home. So when he is on his way home, he calls me at work..And again when he arrives (we only live 2 blocks from his school). So today everything was normal. I decided to call him to see if he needed me to bring dinner home…and he didn’t answer. I spent 45 minutes calling his cell phone and my home phone …non-stop. Like a crazy woman. Finally my husband arrived home and answered the phone. And my son was there next to him. I told him that I’d been calling….and they start laughing at me. My son was doing his homework with headphones on. I guess I need to let go a little?

Beirut to Ethiopia tragedy

2010-01-25T16:39:00.000-08:00

i'm sure most of you have heard of the plane crash (i heard that lightning hit the plane) in the south of the Lebanese mediteranian sea. the plane was on its way to Ethiopia. there were many high profile passengers on the plane..like the wife of the french ambassador. there were around 54 Lebanese, also their were Ethiopians, British, and im sure other nationalitys.
i love going on flights...its like going on a journey. i cant imagine how the family of those passengers doing. its so sad. i'm sure the Ethiopian's were mainly maids who were eaither going back to visit their families, or returning because their job was complete.

me and my husband seen the news on the tv when we were about to fall asleep and had to pause for a second. because 2 of my cousins are flight attendants for the Lebanese airline, middle east airlines.

my prayers are with anyone who is affected by this tragedy.

I was just reading the Naharnet news online and they released the Lebanese flight list. (http://www.naharnet.com/)
Names of Lebanese Passengers Released from Plane Crash

Officials released the names of Lebanese passengers who were on board the Ethiopian plane that crashed early Monday. Those on board included two children -- Julia Mohammed al-Haj, 3, and Mohammed Hasan Kreik. The others were identified as follows:
Hanna Nakhoul Kreidi
Haidar Hasan Marj
Ali Youssef Jaber
Ali Ahmed Jaber
Abbas Mohammed Jaber
Mohammed Mustapha Badawi
Khalil Ibrahim Saleh
Hasan Adnan Kreik
Saeed Abdel Hasan Zahr
Hussein Ali Farhat
Mohammed Hasan Kreik
Ali Suheil Yaghi
Rawan Hasan Wazneh
Bassem Qassem Khazaal
Haifa Ahmed Wazneh
Ali Ahmed Tajeddine
Tanal Abdallah Fardoun
Mustafa Haitham Arnaout
Fouad Mahmoud al-Laqiss
Mohammed Kamal Akoush
Tony Elias al-Zakhem
Hamzeh Ali Jaafar
Hasan Mohammed Issawi
Hasan Kamal Ibrahim
Ghassan Ibrahim Qaterji
Haifa Ibrahim al-Farran
Hussein Youssef Haj Ali
Fares Rashid Zebian
Farid Saad Moussa
Mohammed Ali Qatbi
Yasser Youssef Mehdi
Anees Mustafa Safa
Hussein Moussa Barakat
Antoine Toufiq al-Hayek
Elias Antonius Rafeeh
Tareq George Barakat
Khalil Nami al-Khazen (MTV official)
Rana Youssef al-Harakeh
Mohammed Abdel Hussein al-Haj
Julia Mohammed al-Haj
Hussein Kamal Hayek
Asaad Masoud al-Fghali
Ziad Naeem Qosseifi
Rida Ali Mistokirdi
Albert Jirji Assal
Imad Ahmed Hather
Fouad Mohammed Jaber
Khalil Mohammed Madani
Hasan Mohammed Abdel Hasan Tajeddine
Yasser Abdel Hussein Ismail
Jamal Ali Khatoun
Afif Krisht (Lebanese-British)
Abbas Hawilli (Lebanese-Canadian)
Ana Mohammed Abes (Lebanese-Russian)

update on Marcel

2010-01-23T12:08:00.000-08:00

thank you all for your support, prayers, and good energy! your the best...each time i recieved a message i read them to my husband..it lifted both of our spirits.

I've had a few days let things set in. thursday was my day off...so marcel took the day off as well. we woke up early, had mcdonalds for breakfast and re-grouped. we took showers in the morning and put pajamas on ...and hung out all day on our couch.

when i got home the evening before, his mother had called to find out how the Dr. Appt went. i almost felt like he lied to them. he told them that he has something in his DNA and that every so often he will need chemo to keep it away. i was so upset. i let him know that he couldnt just lie to people about what was going on, they had a right to know the truth in case something comes up everyone has money available for travel, weather its them, or us.
in the end, he didnt feel he was lying. he just doesnt want to stress anyone out.....and he wants to continue living life the way we have been.
i'm letting him make every decision. this time i will not take complete control over the situation. he needs to have control over his life, and i'll be there to support whatever comes up, even if i dont like it.
i will live my life honoring my husband. i know that sounds so Lebanese...(lol...usually i tell my husband its his job to keep me happy)....but now i just want to make my husband happy. i already started:) on wednesday night i let him use my new foot spa, and i even scrubbed his feet all smooth.
we always hear the saying that you dont know what you have till its gone. i cant live like that. i need to start living in the moment.
you know we already had this year planned out. we keep a calendar on the fridge. this year we already had the end of march set aside to go to las vegas....and october set aside for a vacation to new mexico. i told my husband i wanted to cancel the vacations so we can spend our vacation in Lebanon instead. he said no. he wants to keep the plans we had and change nothing. he said he will go to work..and just take the days of he needs for treatments.
my husband is one strong man! he said he is going to fight for his life. it makes me so happy.
the first time a bone marrow transplant was brought up years ago, he didnt want it. he hated the chemo ..and everything about being sick. he always said that if he got sick again...he wouldnt take the treatment because he didnt want to live like that....and each time he did relapse, i was their to beg him to take the treatment. he always did what i asked him, but durring tough days i always felt guilty.
this time its all him. he decided what hes going to do, and im so happy that he decided to fight.

i will keep you guys updated on important things that may come up...but i've decided to keep this blog just the way it is....random posts on being Lebanese American ..and culture. i made a seperate blog to post about marcels treatment and about me loosing my mind at some points :) ....i used to read hodgkins blogs ..and they can become very repititious and depressing..i cant do that here..but if you ever want to know whats going on, you can view it through my profile i think.

Marcel relapsed

2010-01-20T18:16:00.000-08:00

if youve read my blog for a while..you know all of the struggles my husband has been through.

i'm at work...and just got back from Marcels follow up Dr. appt to give the results of his recent scan. he relapsed and has Hodgkins Lymphoma again.

what does this mean for him...i have no idea.

Marcel was first diagnosed in Lebanon on his birthday in April 2006. we think he may have had it since the summer of 2005, because thats when we noticed swollen lymph nodes under his armpit. he casually asked a pharmacist and they told him it was an infection so they gave him antibiotics. (anyone who lives in Lebanon knows that many people use the pharmacys as a advice nurse, and usually treat themselves because many drugs dont need an actual prescription).

he started chemo in Lebanon, and in July 2006 when the war happened, we came back to States durring the evacuation. he only missed his next chemo by a few days...and then he was set up here with a new doctor and resumed treatment. so from August 2006-October 2006 he was getting his basic chemo...then they told us the cancer was growing. they started giving him a series of high dose chemo..and in december 2006 they reffered us Stanford and told us he needed a bone marrow transplant. so the long journey begain. he had his first bone marrow transplant in march 2007. they used his own cells for this. he received a clean scan in august 2007. in spring of 2008 he had a follow up scan. it came up very bad....so they told him he needed another bone marrow transplant using his brothers cells. first they let him return to lebanon for 2 weeks before starting treatment (just in case). they gave him a lot of high dose chemo...and then in august 2008 prepared him for his 2nd BMT. he received his brothers cells in september 2008.
since then he has had scans every 6 months..and we are always so grateful to get good news.
today they told us the scan showed new growth in random places.
the plan right now is...he will see the hodgkins Dr. within 3 weeks...and return to his BMT doctor within 6 weeks. she (his BMT Dr.Laport) said she's like him to get more chemo and then go from their..maybe even start out with an oral chemo??? we've never heard of chemo in a pill. but we'll see what it does.

honestly i dont even know what i feel. i dont think he knows what he feels eaither so i will wait to ask him. give it some time to digest.

please no matter your relgion....please keep my husband in your prayers.
i know that so many people out there have things worse..and were lucky to have some options left. i know that we are blessed...but i dont want my husband to go through this anymore...i want him healthy!

SHC Medical Team Travels to Haiti to Assist in Relief Effort

2010-01-19T18:19:00.000-08:00

i was so happy to see this little report on the stanford intranet....i have to post it...i love Stanford! ...not because i work here...but because my husbands life was saved here.

yes i am aware that i've only been posting about Haiti latley...but every not busy moment i have...im eaither reading the news...or watching the news.
.......................................
1/19/2010

A seven-person team of Stanford Hospital & Clinics physicians and nurse left Friday morning on their way to Haiti, where tens of thousands have died and many more injured in the 7.0 earthquake that devastated the country Tuesday.

“We are very proud of our team who are stepping outside their normal routines to provide care to the most needy,” said Nancy Lee, the Hospital’s Chief Nursing Officer and Vice President of Patient Care Services. “The dedication of our staff and faculty always shines the brightest when the world seems most dark.”

“What we want to do is start treating patients,” said the team’s leader Bob Norris, MD, chief of the Division of Emergency Medicine. He has worked in Iraq and India as a volunteer. He also has taken a week-long course in rubble pile medicine, the special care of people injured in building collapses.

The team will be working at two locations. During the day, they’ll be stationed at the general hospital near the Presidential Palace. At night, they’ll be at a makeshift clinic at the Villa Creole, a hotel in the hills above Port-au-Prince.

“A lot of what we will do is general health care, but we expect to treat broken bones, crush injuries, fever, dehydration and some of the emotional issues,” Norris said. “We’re taking a portable ultrasound so we’ll be able to diagnose internal abdominal injuries, but we won’t be able to do advanced medicine.”

The team is taking $18,000 worth of supplies--most of which were donated by Stanford Hospital--that include basics like antibiotics, splints, thermometers, tongue depressors, scalpels, sutures, swabs, medication to treat pain and asthma, and much more. The team is flying on a chartered plane and can only take what they can carry in one medium and one large duffel bag, packed to full Thursday evening by volunteers from the Hospital.

Norris said he’s also taking a hard hat and work gloves, and a special set of lightweight scrubs that has lots of pockets. The temperature in Haiti is hovering in the 90s.

The team will stay three weeks, he said.

The Hospital’s team will work as part of the larger International Medical Corps group. IMC has four doctors in Haiti and another 13 on the way. The Stanford Hospital contingent is the largest team from a single source. All the Stanford team’s physicians are emergency medicine specialists.

In addition to Norris, the team also includes physicians Anil Menon, Ian Brown and Paul Auerbach, former chief of the Division of Emergency Medicine and medical relief volunteer in Guatamala and Nepal. In 2008, the American College of Emergency Physicians gave him their Hero award.

The nurses are Gaby McAdoo, Heather Tilson, Julie Rachioppi and Jonathan Gardner, who previously worked at the Hospital.

Anyone who wishes to support the Stanford Hospital physicians and nurses in their relief work in Haiti may send gifts payable to Stanford Hospital & Clinics (Attention: Stanford Hospital Haiti Relief Fund), c/o Office of Hospital Development, 145A El Camino Real, Menlo Park, CA 94025 or may contact Ema Williams, Manager of Finance & Administration, Office of Hospital Development at (650) 721-2460 or ewillia2@stanford.edu.

will Haiti teach us a lesson in peace?

2010-01-16T11:36:00.000-08:00

these past days i havent been interested in much. everything on tv, in the newspapers, office talk, revolves around Haiti.
i've mostly been watching CNN. i love the jounalists they have their (anderson cooper, sanjay gupta). last night as i was watching a news report on CNN and the newscaster had to cut to commercial because she couldnt control her emotions. i honeslty see news reporters as robots, since they never seem to show emotion..... the news reporters have seen so much in Haiti, they cant control themselves.

is it possiabile that we are entering into a new existance? ....i swear im not loosing my mind. but to me this is the worst catastophe in my eyes that has happened in my life. the devestation is worse than any other in the past years. and it seems that everyone around the world cares so deeply. everyones aching for them to have water, food, shelter, something to get them through the next minute.
i trully feel like this is our one opertunity for peace in this world. because relgion and race doesnt matter anymore! what matters is that everyone come together and work tword making this situation better.
i havent read any middle east news this week...and i pray that everyone with land interests...and screwing one another over..realizes how pathetic it is what they are doing! killing people...when an ocean away, the world is trying to save innocent people from parishing. i pray that this will open the eyes of the world...and realize that no matter our differences ...we are all created by the same god...and we can make the earth a better home..and make god proud of us, to realize we are a human race.

sorry guys..i dont even know anyone from Haiti, never been their, but this is tearing me up.

Wyclef Jean helping in the Haiti Earthquake

2010-01-13T13:08:00.000-08:00

Haiti had a 7.0 earthquake...i'm sure everyone around the world has heard of this by now. this morning i was watching CNN news and seen horriable images of a woman walking through a dusty street with a baby on her hip... and then i seen a little boy trying to pull another boy out of a bldg that had seemed to collapse underneath him...and he was burried from his legs down (some of you must have seen this fotage).

i live in the california bay area....our area is known for being the earthquake capitol. last wednesday night my husband and mother woke up at around 11pm to a 2.9 quake (i didnt feel it) ...then the next morning was my day off..and i woke up at 10am to a 4.1. it shook my bed, rattled my windows...then i feel back asleep.
i forget what year it was maybe 89..and we had a 7.0 or 7.1 and some of the elevated highways feel. so many people in my neighborooh were outside praying..and so many aftershocks that we spent the night outside out of fear of the house collapsing.

in Haiti the bldgs are so very old...and most likely not built for earthquakes. also the country is very poor. I know that countries will do what they can to help the people out...but i always love to donate to places that will directly take care of people on top of the major organizations.
i was reading about Wyclef Jean....he's Haitian (remember he used to be int he fugees with lauren hill?). he's been haiti for a while. he has an orgination called "YELE" http://www.yele.org/ that he organized in 2005. and i was reading a news article and found this simple easy way that everyone can help
(((((~Within two hours of Tuesday's 7.0 magnitude earthquake, Jean and Yéle mobilized on social networking sites to raise funds for disaster relief. Jean is encouraging people to text "Yéle" to 501501, which will automatically donate $5 to the Yéle Haiti Earthquake Fund, or to visit http://www.yele.org/~)))))

i trully belive that as humans its our duty to help anyone in need if one can. God will bless us in our time of need. and how awesome that anyone with a cell phone can donate $5 by just texting! its simple....its not gonna break your pocketbook.

i wish that everyone in Haiti could sleep without the stress they are dealing with today. people lost family, and everything they have. its so sad.

if your interested in the news article i was reading heres the link

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/01/13/yele.wyclef.haiti.relief/

the word Allah is not reserved for muslims alone...(even arabic speaking muslims know this)

2010-01-08T13:23:00.000-08:00

as i was reading my morning news..i was in shock to read something so very stupid! muslims in malaysia protesting christians to use the word "Allah" for god. they fire bombed 3 churches for this/
maybe someone should let these people know that Allah isnt reserved for muslims. its the arabic word for god.
a middle eastern christian has no other way to say god....except to say "Allah"...(yes there is a large number of middle eastern christians)
really stupid thing to burn chruches over..... the sad thing is that in the middle east...there are churches everywhere in many countries...and they are safe.
but in a country where Arabic isnt even the offical language they want to complain about words that arent in their language....again really stupid thing!

link below if interested
http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/01/08/malaysia.churches.attacked/

Happy 2010!

2010-01-01T14:49:00.000-08:00

i dont belive this decade flew by so fast. on a large scale it changed the world....

but i'll just stick to this past year for me. i had a wonderful 2009. it was the first year that my family was able to live like a normal family :) my husband finished all his medical treatments ....and was able to start working. that was definatly the best thing. marcel was finally able to start living his life without cancer dangling over his head.
we went to disneyland for a week with our best friends. then laughlin for 4th of july, and portland in october for my cousins wedding.
if i go into detail on everything, it will just bore you all....but this was a good year!

i trully hope that this new year brings everyone many blessings! i hope those who are fighting cancer, overcome it! i hope anyone who has something blocking themselves from having a succesfull life,will find a way to overcome the circumstances.
............
so i feel like im getting older. we had our friends over for new years eve.... we spent a few hundred dollers on alcohol (yes i drink on special occasions) ...but it didnt matter...because we didnt even drink .haha. well we had like 1 shot.. it was pathetic....i put some apple flavoring with some red color stuff..and put a cherry in, i told everyone it was a apple surprise shot.... and guess what i found out after everyone drank it.....their was no alcohol in it, because i just used the mixers...looool i didnt know...and then we started to watch tv ...basically got tired. so the guys drank a little...and the girls, we fell asleep :)
....
so i dont really belive in new years resolutions...bu i am going to spend the first 6 months of the year getting healthy..... and if possable, i want to spend the last 6 months pregnant.
i know...crazy right? especially since my husband had 2 bone marrow transplants...and we were told that he would never be able to have children. but we belive its possible for god to bless us with a child. so much so...that we have names picked out for them already.
its a long shot...but i will go about it the right way....i'll make doctors appointments to see if its posable..and the best was to go about it.

HAPPY 2010!!!!

A taboo question for Israelis

2009-12-30T14:39:00.000-08:00

I was pleasantly surprised to read such a news article (an isrealis view of how isreal is treating palistinians). its not what i expected....and i hope that this article is read by many....
is peace possible? sometimes i feel that hope is lost. but then once in a while i feel hopeful.

recently i read a book that is really good for young(12-18 year old) palistinians, isralis..or even american palistinians to read...it touches on the topic of peace..in such a natural way. the book is called"habibi: and its written by Naomi Shihab Nye.

Dec 30, 2009 21:26

Updated Dec 30, 2009 22:43

Rattling the Cage: A taboo question for Israelis
By Larry Derfner

There's a question we Israelis won't ask ourselves about the Palestinians, especially not about Gaza. The question is taboo. Not only won't anyone ask it out loud, but very, very few people will dare ask it in the privacy of their own minds.

However, I think it's time we start asking it, privately and in public. If we don't, I think there's going to be Operation Cast Lead II, then Operation Cast Lead III, and each one is going to be worse than the last, and the consequences for Palestinians and Israelis are going to be unimaginable.

The question we have to ask ourselves is this: If anybody treated us like we're treating the people in Gaza, what would we do?

We don't want to go there, do we? And because we don't, we make it our business not to see, hear or think about how, indeed, we are treating the people in Gaza.

All these shocked dignitaries, all these reports, these details, these numbers - thousands of destroyed this and tens of thousands of destroyed that. Rubble, sewage, malnutrition, crying babies, humanitarian crises - who can keep up? Who cares? They did it to themselves. Where to for lunch?

IT'S NOT that we can't imagine life in Gaza. It's that we are determined not to try to imagine. If we did, we might not stop there. Next we might try to imagine what it would be like if our country were in the condition in which we left Gaza. And sooner or later we might try to imagine what we would do if we were living over here like they're living over there.

Or not even what we would do, just what we would think - about the people, about the country, that did that to us and that wouldn't even allow us to begin to recover after the war was over. That blockaded our borders and allowed in only enough supplies to keep us at subsistence level, to prevent starvation and mass epidemics.

What would we think, what would we do, if somebody, some country, did that to us?

A lot of people here, I'm sure, would reply angrily: So why won't the Gazans try making peace?

But is that how we would react? Is that what Israelis would do if a foreign army did to this country what the IDF did to that one a year ago? If another country sent F-16s, Apache helicopters, white phosphorous, drones, tanks and battalions into Israel, if any nation bombed and killed over here like we bombed and killed in Gaza, then rubbed our noses in it afterward, would we want to make peace with them?

Forget we; does anyone know a single Israeli who would?

I'M SURE a lot of people would argue: What about Sderot? Didn't the terrorists in Gaza bomb and kill in Sderot? Let's the turn the question around: What would the Gazans have done if another country did to them what they did to the people in Sderot?

Fair enough. Yes, they would have hit back, too. They're not pacifists, either, to say the least. In fact, their elected leaders are fanatical, murderous Jew-haters sworn to Israel's destruction. That's extremely important to remember, and we do. But what we don't want to remember, what we make 100 percent sure to forget, is that we do all sorts of hateful things to Gaza that they don't do to us, and that this is the way it's been since 1967.

Aside from choking the flow of goods to Gaza by land, we blockade their entire coast. We don't allow ships to sail into Gaza or out. Does anyone stop ships from coming and going at the ports of Eilat, Ashdod or Haifa? What would Israel do if anyone tried? (Think of what Israel did two weeks after Egypt blockaded the port of Eilat in May 1967.)

We also blockade Gaza's airspace, preventing planes from flying in or out. Does anybody stop planes from flying in and out of Israel? Would we stand for it if someone did?

For 37 years, between 1967 and 2005, our soldiers and settlers were the overlords of the Gaza Strip. If foreign soldiers and settlers tried to come in and take over Israel, what would we do?

And regarding the years of rocket attacks on the people in Sderot, I've never been through such an ordeal, but I imagine it's hell. However, I've also never been through the ordeal that people in Gaza have gone through, and are still going through, yet I know - as everyone in the world knows, except Israelis - that life in Gaza is incomparably worse than life in Sderot ever was.

DURING THE 2008 US presidential campaign, Barack Obama visited Sderot, saying, "If missiles were falling where my two daughters sleep, I would do everything in order to stop that."

Absolutely right. I wonder, though, what sort of empathetic reaction he might have had if he'd also visited the Jabalya refugee camp that summer. I wonder how he'd react if he visited Jabalya now.

And how would we react? If we Israelis could go to Gaza and see in person what we've done to that place and its people, would we be capable of empathy? If we thought of our children living in a country that was just like postwar Gaza, would we allow ourselves to think what we might do?

We can't go to Gaza, but we have to start using our imagination. We have to dare to put ourselves in those people's place. And we have to stop doing to them what we would never allow anyone to do to us. Otherwise, we Israelis have no conscience, and little by little we become capable of anything.

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1261364551818&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

getting ready for new years

2009-12-29T19:19:00.000-08:00

these past 2 weeks are crazy!!!!
i was raised that if your home was perfectly clean at new years...it would stay clean all year long. i spilled water on my carpet a few days ago when i had my foot bath out...that means i have a day and a half to shampoo my carpet :( ...lets see if i can fit that in between preparing for a new years party our place.

Hope you all had a merry christmas!!!

2009-12-26T16:47:00.000-08:00

christmas went on as planned :)

when marcel was admitted into the hospital, he let the doctor know, this is his first christmas... in years that cancer wasnt over his head and, he wanted to be home with his family. the doctor agreed to let marcel go home as long as he took antibiotics and returned to the ITA the following day for tests. so he went home!!!! YAY!

i spent christmas eve doing my part to stimulate the economy :) everything was on sale at the mall, so we got really good deals....

marcel loved everything he got...especially his backgammon board :) river and him were playing all afternoon yesterday....

(this is before and after..at the begening of the night, he looks sick...in the next he's perfect)

HOLIDAY SETBACK

2009-12-23T18:56:00.000-08:00

i was sooooo happy about 1 hour ago. i'm ready for christmas...ready to go home and spend the next 2 days with my husband, son and mother.

i work at stanford hospital....and my husband had both of his bone marrow transplants here...so i basically live here. my husband had a doctor appointment today with his lymphoma doctor. ....and i was sick last week....and marcel got sick from me....now he has pnemonia. im so upset. this is the first year since 2005 that marcel has had a cancer free christmas....and this happens.
i know....it could be worse. i'm grateful to god that hes alive and otherwise healthy.
so all of my superficial plans are to the side...i dont care about anything but him getting better.

the only thing that sucks is...im stuck in my office for another hour and half...and i just wish i could be with him to find out exactly whats going on....

Arabic daily newspapers or magazines in California?

2009-12-21T19:26:00.000-08:00

The only arabic newspapers that I've found in our area, are just advertisment papers.
Anyone know of any arabic magazines or daily newspapers in print that deliver to California residences? I tried google to see if anything came up.....but i just got a bunch of out of date websites.

(lebanese papers preffered...but any will do)

its sucks!

2009-12-19T18:20:00.000-08:00

i took the H1N1 (swine flu) shot last friday...i felt a little under the weather the following day...but as of wednesday night i have not been myself. by not being myself..i mean i fell asleep wednesday night..and woke up this morning (satruday) ...i only woke up because i had to come to work. ....
and i've been a baby all day. seriously! its so bad..i need to just go to sleep. i dont remember driving to work (that cant be good). my husband had to blow dry my hair because my arm muscles were so sore.
i wonder if i got the swine flu from the swine flu vaccine.
i dont know ....
i just hate being sick!!!!

THE BEST THING ABOUT MARRIAGE IS

2009-12-16T15:29:00.000-08:00

there is another person (aside from your children) who you are a part of. you become less selfish when you have someone else's life to consider.
my husband drives me crazy, often. but he thinks of me and my son before himself. since we've arrived in the states my husband has bought only 2 pairs of tennis shoes for himself...but every 4 months he takes my son to footlocker to get new ones for himself. he will give me and my son money so we can buy lunch for work/school...and make sandwiches for himself.
sometimes i dont let him know how much i appreciate him...but i really do.
today was my office holiday potluck. last night at 5 pm...i called him and told him i needed a ham from the honeybaked ham store, and a nice gift for a co-worker(my husband hates shopping)....but he did everything for me...and today wasnt as stressful as it would of been, because of him.

yuck!

2009-12-14T19:25:00.000-08:00

one of my yonug male cousins spent the night on thrusday. he's like 20 i think.
friday comes, my husband, my son, and me leave for work and school for my son(my mom isnt home because she is at her sisters for the evening).

first...i dont really know this cousin well. he called on thrusday (he lives at school) and said he had no school the following day..and had no where to go....could we pick him up. so we did. NEVER AGAIN!
why????? because after i dropped him off friday night...i was about to watch a movie with my husband and son...when we came accross a memo on our tv that we still hadnt finished watching a movie..and had like12 hours till it expired ....it was a porn movie.
i spent the rest of the evening sanitizing everything.

lebanese nomads

2009-12-12T20:28:00.000-08:00

we talk to our families in Lebanon at least once a week...my husband usually calls his parents every other day.
but we dont realize how much we miss our families untill certain holidays come around. like christmas.
life happens, and sometimes we forget how grateful we are to have a good life..and even though our families in Lebanon are doing fine....we dont help them out finacially the way we could and should. so at times like holidays we send them a cash gift to make up for not being there (pathetic right?)
i wonder how many others do this? theres more Lebanese outside of Lebanon than inside of Lebanon..
about 5 years ago me and my husband used to post messages in a Lebanese msn group...and everyone on the site was Lebanese...but only about 10 percent of the members actually lived in Lebanon. besides Lebanon...majority of my husbands family lives in Australia or Canada....and for me, my family outside of Lebanon are mostly here in the States...but also in France and Egypt
it sucks knowing that all of your family will never be in the same room at the same time.

susie's big adventure: A Plea From the Heart

2009-12-12T15:03:00.000-08:00

susie's big adventure: A Plea From the Heart

me and my cell phone

2009-12-09T19:20:00.000-08:00

when we came back to the states in 2006, life was pretty crazy. we were living with cousins....we left our whole life back in Lebanon. starting over wasnt as bad as i thought it'd be. we finally moved on our own after 7 months, and we lived very simply. i was working as a photographer and didnt make much money...but we always had food to eat, and that was the most important. i had a cell phone until we got our first place. once we moved out of my cousins and got a home phone, we realized we didnt need a cell phone anymore, so i cut it off.
2 years ago when i started working at the hospital, everyone told me i needed a cell phone. i didnt feel that i needed one. at work i have a phone...and at home i have a phone. if i'm out, i dont want people bugging me.
....
well for my birthday this year, my best best friend yvette bought me a cell phone so that she couls contact me when she wanted. she said it was always a hassle to get ahold of me, especially when we we'd go out and have to meet up somewhere. she was happy...my co-workers were happy, my family in Lebanon were even happy because they could text me all day.....
but now....i hate the cell phone. its such a hassle. it rings at bad times...and i have to take it everywhere. my husband has even gotten mad at me that i never charge it, and leave it home for days dead(seriously its been sitting on my home desk since last thursday).
im ready to pretend i lost it, and hope that everyone gives up my and my cell phone.

christmas is comming

2009-12-07T19:51:00.000-08:00

I've spent the past week enjoying the christmas spirit. I've spent entire days shopping, and i still cant find a perfect gift for my husband or son.

my husband is hard to shop for. so hard that i already thought i got him perfect christmas gift...but he found the recipt and told me he didnt like it as a gift (it was a large tool storage metal dresser thingy..lool). he has a LOT of tools that my mother gave him and he has scattered through the garage....so i thought it was perfect gift :(

my husband is very simple, and doesnt like pricey things. he said he just wants cologne. but it wont be a surprise!!!!! i just want to find him something special.

as for my son...theres nothing new this year i can think of.

my mother is simple! she loves everything...haha

last year we had a really nice christmas...we went to midnight mass, then we went to downtown san jose to go to christmas in the park..and then went home ...at like 2 am we made hot chocolate with marshmellows, then opened all of the gifts.

my family likes tradition, so probably it will be the same this year.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!...does anyone have any traditions? and what are your plans?

Tiger Woods christmas card

2009-12-02T16:53:00.000-08:00

If you live in the states, you must have heard a lot of gossip this week, regarding Tiger Woods. He was involved in a single auto accident. News reports of him cheating…and other things.

Well today he went on the record and admitting he had extramarital affairs. WHAT AN IDIOT!

His wife is cute…and what’s up with all these famous people lately admitting to breaking such vows. It’s everywhere. Every other week, a politician, or athletes, even a president went through this. I used to think it was just because their lives are under such scrutiny that they were just being targeted. But obviously they have no problems putting their family’s public embarrassment 2nd to what they are doing (or their careers). Crazy!

PALESTINIANS AND ISRALIS

2009-12-01T14:36:00.000-08:00

DISCLAIMER:
i know this is a touchy subject...and many not not agree on my view (me and my husband argue on this topic quite often)...just know that its my view...and i respect other views as well :)

i dont know why...i've never been to Palistine...but i have a soft spot in my heart for them. i just read an article about how there was some court case, and now palistinians are being evicted from their homes. the trippy thing is that....a jewish national immideatly moves into the vacant place. wooooow!
how sad is that?
it also talks about how a jewish association won its claim to historical ownership.(what about the history of the jewish arabs?? or the hisory of all the people who lived their before the european jews showed up)
.......
i just wonder when people will open their eyes. even when the USA tells isreal not to do something..they do it anyway. and no one speaks out.
isreal wants to build a country based on relgion..and thats against what USA belives. USA belives no one should be discriminated based on relgion or race.
...and also being jewish is a relgion and not a race....you can be any race..and be jewish. i even read a blog yesterday about a jewish Kuwati i think. the father was muslim and arab...and the mother was jewish and european..she kept it hidden...the guy ended up living as a jewish man.
......
its not right to claim a country based on relgion!
i go back and forth on the Palistinian/israli conflict. sometimes i think their can be peace. but at this point..i cant see that happening.

anyways...heres the article
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jewish Nationalists Clash With Palestinians

By ISABEL KERSHNER

Published: December 1, 2009

JERUSALEM — Jewish nationalists and Palestinians clashed in an East Jerusalem neighborhood on Tuesday after the Israelis took over a house by court order in a predominantly Arab area. The confrontation further strained tensions in this contested city, where competing Israeli and Palestinian claims have become a sticking point in the Obama administration’s efforts to restart peace talks.

The house at the center of Tuesday’s flare-up is located in Sheik Jarrah, a leafy district just north of the Old City, where three Palestinian families have been evicted from other houses in the last year after losing a lengthy legal battle in the High Court and lower district and magistrates courts.

A Jewish association won its claim to historical ownership of the land in question, and has plans to build a large Jewish housing complex there. The Palestinians fear that the Jewish presence in Sheik Jarrah is part of a larger project to cement Israeli control of the eastern part of the city and to push Palestinian residents out.

The latest Jewish residents to move into the area were escorted by the police and private security guards and immediately removed furniture from the property, which was built by a Palestinian family headed by Refka al-Kurd, 87.

The small, one-story structure was built about 10 years ago as an extension of the Kurds’ original home, but it was unoccupied, having been sealed by the authorities after it was determined to have been constructed without the proper permits.

“The authorities took our keys to the property because we built it without permits,” said Nabil al-Kurd, 66, who lives in the original house. “But it seems the settlers can live here without permits because they are the sons of God,” he said bitterly, referring to the Jewish newcomers.

Shmulik Ben-Ruby, the spokesman for the Jerusalem police, said his force acted in line with the court decision that determined that the property “is owned by Jews.”

Blood spattered the forecourt on Tuesday after a Jewish man was hit on the head by Palestinians who attacked the new residents with clubs and stones. Later, after a day of scuffles, a Palestinian woman, Nadia al-Kurd, was taken to the hospital with what was thought to be a heart attack.

The United Nations said in a statement on Tuesday that the “Secretary General has expressed his dismay at the continuation of demolitions, evictions and the installment of Israeli settlers in Palestinian neighborhoods in occupied East Jerusalem.”

“Provocative actions such as these,” it continued, “create inevitable tensions, undermine trust, often have tragic human consequences and make resuming negotiations and achieving a two-state solution more difficult.”

Israel claims sovereignty over all of Jerusalem, including the eastern part that it annexed after conquering it from Jordan in the 1967 war. The Palestinians demand the eastern section as the capital of a future state.

Last week, after a Jerusalem planning committee approved the expansion of a Jewish district in another part of the annexed territory, the White House said it objected to that and other Israeli practices in Jerusalem related to housing, including “the continuing pattern of evictions and demolitions of Palestinian homes.”

“At a time when we are working to re-launch negotiations,” the White House added, “these actions make it more difficult for our efforts to succeed.”

The conservative-leaning Israeli prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, and the mayor of Jerusalem, Nir Barkat, oppose any division of Jerusalem and say that in Israeli law there is no difference between the east and the west.

But neither the government nor Jerusalem’s City Hall has had any direct involvement in the Sheik Jarrah case. Nor have they tried to prevent the court rulings from being carried out.

“We at city hall have absolutely nothing to do with it,” said Stephan Miller, a spokesman for Mr. Barkat. “We are blessed to live in a Western democracy where the mayor has no influence over the courts.”

The Kurds’ home is adjacent to a site held by Jews to be the ancient tomb of Shimon Hatzadik, or Simeon the Just, a Jewish high priest from the days of the Second Temple. A Jewish organization reclaimed the land around the tomb based on property deeds that date back to the 1870s. The Palestinians claim the deeds were forged.

The Palestinians’ homes were built in the 1950s by a United Nations agency for Palestinian refugees when the area was under Jordanian control. The families say that Jordan gave them ownership of the houses but that the homes were never formally registered in their names.

The Israeli Foreign Ministry, meanwhile, condemned what it said was a Swedish initiative to sharpen the European Union’s position on Jerusalem and to have it recognize Palestinian claims to East Jerusalem as the capital of a future state.

“This will not help promote the peace process,” said Yigal Palmor, the Foreign Ministry spokesman, of the initiative that was first reported in the Israeli newspaper Haaretz on Tuesday. “It will only marginalize the European role in it,” he said.

Sweden is coming to the end of its six-month presidency of the European Union. The group’s foreign ministers will decide whether or not to adopt the new position at a meeting next week.

This would make my life so much easier!

2009-11-30T19:57:00.000-08:00

i make wara2 3arish at least once a month... sometimes my husband is nice and helps out :)

BUT I WOULD NEVER MAKE HIM HELP ME AGAIN...IF HE BOUGHT ME THIS!
i swear i waste hours of my life making these! when i make them for home...i have to make extra for work..and then my co-workers want some to take home... this is a perfect gadget for someone like me.

shakira on AMA

2009-11-29T15:03:00.000-08:00

i didnt watch the American Music Awards this year...but i came across Shakira's performance on youtube.
her performance was awesome!

( i think her fathers lebanese..and her mothers columbian)

thanksgiving, new moon and my co-worker

2009-11-28T15:45:00.000-08:00

so thanksgiving went very good. we spent it with out favorite couple (sam and yvette) and both sets of their parents and thier sisters, with their spouses and children. we stayed up late...and i was the designated driver :) (wich is a first)
i wanted to get flowers for my mother to tell her i'm thankful for her..but their were no stores open once i got off of work.
my mom will be comming home tomoro. she has been their for everyone durring this crazy time with my family...but she is ready to come home. so marcel and river cleaned the whole house today (before i even woke up).
......
we went to watch new moon yesterday evening...and it was alright. i guess i was expecting more because everyone said it was the best movie ever. it wasnt. but it was good.
the only creepy thing....my husband is on team edward...adn my son is on team jacob...looool
..........................

so i did it. i spoke with my co-worker today. i was honest. i told her i didnt want to embarass her, but if it were me i'd want to know.
everything went good. she told me that she has been told that that before, and basically asked for advice on what she should do. we talked hygene and stuff...and in the end i gave her hug.
she doesnt hate me..loool she said shes happy i told her

Lebanese American man in Flordia kills his family on thanksgiving

2009-11-28T14:35:00.000-08:00

This morning my husband was reading Naharnet...and came across this article..pretty sad. i hope they catch the guy!
----------------------------------

Man of Lebanese Origin Opens Fire on 17 Relatives in Florida Killing 4

Authorities in Florida were searching Saturday for a man police said opened fire on his family after Thanksgiving dinner and killed four people, including his pregnant sister and a 6-year-old cousin who was sleeping in her bed.

There had been "ongoing resentment" in the family, but investigators weren't sure what specifically prompted the shooting, officials said. Police were looking for Paul Michael Merhige, 35.

Authorities in Michigan, including the Birmingham Police Department, were alerted of the search because Merhige had sought help from a Detroit-area physician in the past year, Jupiter Police Sgt. Scott Pascarella said. He did not know why Merhige had contacted a physician there.

Merhige is also accused of gunning down his pregnant sister's twin and his 79-year-old aunt.

"What led to this incident, we're not quite sure," Pascarella said. "It did not appear there was any altercation prior to this shooting."

Pascarella said Merhige left briefly before returning to the home where 17 relatives had gathered in Jupiter, a small beach town about 90 miles north of Miami. The town is known as a home to celebrities including Michael Jordan and Burt Reynolds.

Pascarella said police first received a 911 call from a neighbor, then another from someone inside the home. The residence, in a well-kept new subdivision with brick-paved driveways, is owned by local TV video-journalist Jim Sitton and his wife. The home was surrounded Friday by yellow crime scene tape and police crime unit vans.

Sitton's daughter Makayla had gone to bed before the rampage, police said.

"God packed a lot of sweetness into that little body," Sitton said. "She's just our life. I don't know how we are ever going to recover."

Sitton told local media that his daughter was supposed to perform in a holiday production of "The Nutcracker." The Florida Classical Ballet Theatre had two shows Friday.

"Makayla was part of our family, and as one of the youngest dancers, she was to be one of Mother Ginger's Children," artistic director Colleen Smith said. "She was a beautiful, dear girl. She was a beam."

The other victims were Merhige's twin sisters, Carla Merhige and Lisa Knight, and an aunt, Raymonde Joseph. Merhige's brother-in-law Patrick Knight was in critical but stable condition at a local hospital. Another man, Clifford Gebara, 52, was grazed by a bullet.

Carla Merhige was a real estate agent in Miami.

"She was a wonderful agent," said Joanna Sherman, a manager at Coldwell Banker Residential real estate. "She was very active in the community and in charities. She was just a genuine, beautiful individual. She always had a smile for everybody."

Neighbors in the Palm Beach County community were shocked as police processed the home.

"Our kids walk the streets by themselves," said Nicole Kemp, 67, who did not know any of the victims. "I thought it was the safest place to live. I guess it doesn't matter, if there's a maniac here."(AP)

Beirut, 28 Nov 09, 21:46

i didnt know it stormed in KSA

2009-11-26T14:40:00.000-08:00

I was just at saudijeans.org and found this

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! and my drama last night

2009-11-26T10:43:00.000-08:00

about speaking to my co-worker....i didnt get a chance to speak to her yesterday because they did a raffel yesterday for those of us who wanted to leave early...i won...so i was only at work for like 2 hours. so it looks like saturdays the day.... i'll let you know how it turns out.

......

i was so happy i got to leave early...i got home and did house cleaning before marcel got home from work. he got home about 6pm and i went to honey baked ham to pick up a ham for Thanksgiving dinner. i arrived at about 6:15 pm (store closes at 6:30pm). got in line with my confirmation number for the ham i had reserved.... they only had hams left for people who had reserved them. so people were getting so upset. i got a 10 pound ham for $60 and as i was leaving the store...people were trying to buy my ham from me. ! man offered me $200, but i told that i promised my friends a honeybaked ham......

so i'm at work on thanksgiving till 4 pm. my husband and son are going to my best friends home to watch football, and hang out with the guys. my friends mother is making the turkey, we got the ham...and they told me they are making all of the side dishes....so i'm super excited.
my mom was supposed to go with us, but she is spending thanksgiving with some of my relatives. i'll stop by my relatives to say hi after having dinner at my friends home....my friend and her family, have basically been my family for the past 3 years so i really want to spend thanksgiving with them.

I hope you all have a wonderful thanksgiving if you celebrate it...and DONT EAT TO MUCH!

THE REASON I DONT LET MY CO-WORKERS OR RELATIVES READ MY BLOG......

2009-11-24T18:54:00.000-08:00

because i wouldnt be able to be 100% honest. i'd always be worried about if i offend someone, or i speak on a sensitive topic.

....like now.

we hired a new person in our department recently....the interviews were 90 minutes long...and they had to go through 3 interviews....because we wanted to make sure that we were getting the best and that they fit in with our team.
well we obvilously didnt do a good job....
because the girl SMELLS FUNKY!!!!
i know ..i sound so mean, right? well its the truth!
our desks are all in the same area. because our job involves a lot of complex issues, and in emergency situations we need to be able to communicate.
i feel bad because my co-worker(and best friend) was the one training her at first....and she would always tell me that she couldnt handle her smell. now my friend never has a bad thing to say about anyone...but i just ignored what she was saying...because we are both a bit of germaphobes, so i thought it was just that.
then everyone started making comments...and then she sat in a desk near mine...and i understood completly!
i cant explaine it because she dresses nice...but its not a healthy smell that comes from her.
the manager of our department spoke to her...but it had no effect.
its been getting worse, and tomoro i'm the next line of defense. so basically tomoro i have to find a proper way to speak to her about her hygene.
......i need some advice on how i can put it to her straight foward..but gently. i dont want to be mean...in fact i'd like to find a way that i can use myself as an example. maybe tell a small lie..i thought of telling her i used to shower at night...then fianlly someone told me to shower in the morning..loool . however i dont think that one would work....my boss told me i need to be honest with her...
i dont want to be hurtful..i just want to tell her the truth and hope that she takes better care of herself for herself.
any advice would be appreciated.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

2009-11-17T16:03:00.000-08:00

i'm sorry if im posting a basket full of misery...forgive me...i promise to things on much lighter note after this....
anyways....another uncle passed away this morning. this one of natural causes. again...i must be made of stone..because i'm doing fine. but some of my realtives have basically lost it emotionally. i guess its to much to deal with for them.

please hug your loved ones. life is so fragile

Crystal Meth Kills!!!!

2009-11-16T16:49:00.000-08:00

i had an insane weekend....and my head is still kind of fuzzy. its almost like im in a dream. it could be lack of sleep ....or emotions

saturday was supposed to be our movie night. i was so excited...unfortunatly one of my co-workers got very ill...so i stayed at work until 3 am (i work in a hospital...we are here 24 hours). i wasnt so bad...i spent most of my middle of the night time online ;S...

i got home about 4 am ...and crashed. a few hours later my mother woke me up. she wanted to borrow the car because she said her brother was in the hospital and may not make it.....i said ok..then after 5 minutes i realized what she said..and woke up to see if she was ok. i told her i'd drive her to the hospital.

when we arrived we went to the E.R and they told us he was in the cath lab...so i told my mother not to worry, that means he must be having a procedure done to put stents in his heart and he, would be fine. when we arrived at the cath lab, they told us that he is in the ICU. so i told my mom...maybe he had it rough and must be recovering...as we are walking to the ICU, we see family in the hallway...and they started talking, but all i see was their mouth moving. i thought my brother said, he is out of it..(as in he's sleeping, tired, exhausted ...whatever) but he said was "he's gone". i was confused. so i asked my brother to repeat himself..and he said that my uncle passed.

i went into the room he was in....he was laying with a tube out of his mouth, inside the room was his wife, daughter, son, sister, and neice. everyone lost it. i had to leave the room when my aunt started kissing his face. my aunt came out shortly after....and just broke down. she was begging me to take her home so she could sleep. i told her she needed to be with her son and daughter....she eventually left with her son...and they left the daughter(cousin tina) all alone to deal with stuff on her own. (tina is a very good daughter....especially since she is a step daughter to uncle Tony). she stayed, and wanted to know what happened, what she will need to do next...basically being the adult.

to give you a little background...my aunt and her son both have substance abuse issue (as did my uncle). so in a way it seemed that my aunt and her son were crying for themselves. Tina was crying because her father was gone...and she was worried about his soul being saved.
my brother(not a drug user) who lives with them , told us that the day before they(uncle,aunty & their son Al were doing drugs)
what drugs??? crystal meth

i know...thats terriable. i'm honestly ashamed to be admitting this to you all. but its a reality of my life. i dont spend much time with this part of family. i'm really good at isolating myself away from them, because its just not something i can be around. i cant be avaiable to my family, if they arent mentally avaiable to me.
not all of my family is this way...just a very tiny chunk. and the sad part is...they've been this way their whole life.

so i had to suck it up. no matter what, he is my mothers brother. and even though she didnt approve of his lifestlye, she still loved him. and so do my other uncle's and aunts. so for them, and my cousin Tina i will be strong...and be involved.

i dont know how i will get through this week. i feel really bad for everyone..but this is something that could have been prevented...by not using drugs!

their may be a time when we all need help!

2009-11-14T13:43:00.000-08:00

I was just reading Muse's blog. she has a post to help out a family who's little boy has autisim. i went to the FAMILY'S BLOG and read about thier situation..the little boy is adorable! they are struggling with medical costs.
i'm a firm beliver of helping out whenever you can. every little bit helps when a family is trying to get their son medical care...

KARMA?

2009-11-13T18:03:00.000-08:00

The New York Times just reported that Major Hasan is currently paralized.....and it could be permenant.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/14/us/14inquire.html

i need a movie night

2009-11-12T22:02:00.000-08:00

It's been like 2 months since i've been to the movies...and now all of these really great movies are comming out.
the christmas carol movie came out last week. at the imax near us they have it in 3D. so we are supposed to see it on sunday as a family.
but tomoro 2012 is comming out...i've been waiting since last year to see this movie. my son is going with his friends from school tomoro to see it...maybe they will let me tag along?

and next week...the 2nd twilight movie is out. i know its teenager movie. but i loved the last one, and i think the british guy is very hot (only in the movie of course).

if anyones seen these movies, let me know if i shouldnt waste my time :)

major malik nadal hasan.....

2009-11-07T13:03:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to write about this...but i cant really get my feeling straight on this sitation.

however i just read the most ignorant post online...a convert muslim basically saying that americans are stupid..and thats what we get....(personally i think she needs to re-evaluate her belifes...because islam is a non-violent relgion..)

many people know that on thursday a a major in the Army lost it, and went on a shooting rampage.

i was at home that day watching the news at broke...and my mom said to me..."i hope he is not middle eastern"..
then ...his name pop's up!

it's really sad what happened...its pathetic! i know that their is a lot of questions that need to be answered. people want to know if he did because of his relgion, or his race, or even if he was bullied because of who he was. IT DOESNT MATTER!!!!

what matters is that he turned fire on people who should have never been worried about their saftey around him. he took the lives of of mothers,sisters,children, fathers,cousin,friends. yes they were about to be deployed ...but its their life....and he took it. he's scum!

he also took something away from muslims....he took away their right to exisit without his shame! i feel so bad that last night on the news, some muslim community centers were getting nasty phone calls because of this incident....ignorant people think that islam to is blame for what he did. and its not fair! they should not have to deal with this.

I'M NOT MUSLIM...but i firmly belive in truth...and a real muslim would not commit such acts.

i'm gonna go out on a limb..and i dont care if i offend anyone...but if you are muslim, and you condone these acts...you are not following islam properly, and are a disgrace to the mulsim people.

i'm sure some of you may be wondering how i can say such things...
because its the truth!
yes i'm catholic, but i was raised between Lebanon and the states...and (many ignorant people dont realize that about 35% of Lebanons population is chirstian) ... my father had me read the qu'ran as a teen so that i can know where my neighbors are comming from.....to me it was like reading the bible..
i have close muslim friends like family...

i'm just so upset by this! and also by the reactions people have...oh he was harrased, some will say....SO WHAT! it doesnt give anyone the right to kill another.

A FEW MORE THINGS;

being muslim is a relgion...its not a race!
middle eastern people arent all muslim...there are many chirstians who are middle eastern
converting to islam ...doesnt make you middle eastern. be who you are! if you are western...dont rant about anti western stuff, it makes you look silly!

(my post isnt meant to bash on converts eaither...there are many converts who practicing islam because it gives them strength and inspires their belifes...my post was just genrated out of something i read from someone who seems to be practicing something for the wrong reasons)

TO AMERICANS:
being american is being an immigrant, or being a decendent of an immigrant. there is no american race! we are all here because of dreams that our parents had for us. no american has the right to judge based on race, or relgion, because thats no what america is.....otherwise you wouldnt be here.

UPDATE: heres a link to a article on the huffington post. its about major hasan. they have an interview with someone who knew major hasan...and prayed with him the morning of the shooting. it also said that at fort hood their are 10,000 american mulsims serving...and about 300-400 muslim families living on the base.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kamran-pasha/a-muslim-soldiers-view-fr_b_348973.html

11 YEAR OLD GIRL GIVES BIRTH???

2009-11-02T20:14:00.000-08:00

this 11 year old girl is holding her 5 pound newborn baby.
i found an article that said her husband was 19....she went into labor durring her 3 day wedding.
i know that girls are starting their cycles earlier...and once a woman gets hers, she can reproduce...

but WTF???? she is only 11 years old...does that mean she was 10 when she got pregnant? and what about her parents? my son is 14 and i still keep tabs on him.

i cant imgine how a 11 year old had time to have a sexually active life. ...yes i know, parents arent always home. but if someone has a child its their responsibility to make sure that their child is being raised properly and has appropriate supervision.

and letting your child get married at 11...wooow. she is just a baby...so much that she stated that she wont play with toys anymore because her baby is her new toy.

the girl is from Bulgaria...and HERE is a link where you can read about her...adn of course you can google her name.

the time just changed on me

2009-11-01T01:45:00.000-07:00

that 18 hour shift i said i was working...just turned into 19 hours.
today in the States, at 1am ...we just gained another hour. most people are getting another hour of sleep...but not me. im getting an extra hour of work :S

so what have i done tonight? well since no ones here, i did watch Twilight online...of course i'm working as well :)

MY HALLOWEEN!

2009-10-31T14:03:00.000-07:00

THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WRITING LAST NIGHT...

Tomorow i work from 1pm-7am the next morning...yes thats right. 18 hours straight. i work in a hospital, and since its open 24 hours, there are times when i get crazy shift.

so tonight is my Halloween. to be honest. i dont even know the meaning of halloween. its much different here than it is Lebanon. In Lebanon children go door to door to sing the halloween song (in their masks) and people give money. here in the states kids get candy. my son likes it better in Lebanon

well, its the next day....and last night was the most fun and exciting night i've had in a long time.
i got off of work at 6 pm... my husband, son, son's friend and son's cousin came to pick me up. we went to Great America'S HALLOWEEN HAUNT http://haunt.cagreatamerica.com/
it was insane! great american is theme park that we got season passes to this year. its a roller coaster park. we went about 4 times this summer. i will never get season passes again....because i will only go for halloween from now on. it was sooooooo scarey! all of the rides were working, going on the rides at night were so exciting. the park was open from 7pm-midnight.
the whole park was scarey. the makeup and costumes the actors had on were so realistic. there were adults crying because they were scared. the whole park had some white smoke going through everything. there were people with chainsaws, long metal poles scratching the cement and making sparks, they would get the shovels and bang them on the ground. and that was just around the park and not in the mazes, or haunted houses.
about a 3rd of the time i was walking holding my husbands hoodie with my eyes closed. haha. i was a bong wimp.
so now its the next day, and im at work. my husband will come in the evening, because i'm scared to be at the hospital alone in my office at night.....just down the hall is the morgue, and even thought there are security guards their...i'm still scared of the dead.

anyone for personal responsibility????

2009-10-28T10:59:00.000-07:00

I love my job!!!! i even have strong feelings for many of my co-workers.....but theres this one person who really gets under skin. i'm not the type of person to dislike someone "just because"
but this person makes up stories...and whenever he comes in my office and starts talking...i know everything he says is exagerated like 20 times.
so he did something stupid........he lied about a situation he had...he added my name in the mix even though i wasnt involved, his biggest mistake...he put it in writing.
so im trying really hard right now to relax, and not to be vengefull. because i wont get in trouble. but i'm finding it really hard to just keep my mouth shut and not get him in more trouble.

i know anger doesnt come from a good place. im just upset because he just drew my name into his mess.....

Egyptians upset over Haifa Wehbe new kids song?

2009-10-23T18:49:00.000-07:00

this is what i read....

Her song Baba Fen holds racist lyrics and made a huge argument with the Egyptian people who feel that Haifa Wehbe’s song is offensive. Specifically, the Nubain Egyptians have been outraged and want to sue Haifa Wehbe

The lyrics of Baba Fen say: fen dabdoub, wel ered el noubi_Where’s my teddy bear and the Nubian monkey

In return, Haifa Wehbe responded to the problem by saying that the Egyptian writer Mustafa Kamil made it clear that the Nubain Monkey is an old game, and nothing racist or offensive…Do you think Haifa Wehbe will lose her popularity in Egypt? …this would seriously affect the sales of her new 2009 album

can they realy sue her? i cant imagine her saying anything that would offend the egyptian people, because they are a big part of her fan base...also isnt she married to an egyptian? and if it is trully a honest mistake and the person who wrote is egyptian, why would they want to make an issue out of it. maybe they should take up issue with Mustafa Kamil???
i dont know...heres the video, what do you think? is Haifa a racist?

i'm irritated....

2009-10-23T15:21:00.000-07:00

with my husband!

most of the blogs i read are of female (few males).
i even asked my husbands permission to blog (not that i should need permission for anything!)

we went to portland 2 weeks ago for my cousins wedding...and i took a lot of really photos. i have no idea how to upload the photos from camera to computer, my husband always does that. ive been asking him, and he has been putting it off...
...well we get to the real reason that he hasnt uploaded them....he doesnt find it appropriate for me to be putting photos of myself online for others to view unless i know them.
1. i dress very conservativly...(we are christian, so i dont cover or anything...but my dress is very modest)
2.he posts all of photos of absoluty everything we do each weekend on his facebook...for his family and friends to see...(including photos of us at clubs...drinking...where im not so conservativly dressed)
3. he speaks often about how we (Lebanese) are so much more progressive than other M.E countries....ok so then dont treat me like im property!

........
marriage is full of ups and downs ...(every married couple knows this..or will find this out)
i'm gratefull that the down is something so silly....but it just makes me so mad!
I WILL GET MY WAY!

if you ever want to sleep again.....

2009-10-18T22:50:00.000-07:00

dont watch "Paranormal Activity"
my husband loves scarey movies...me, not really.
but today my son was volunteering all day, so we had time alone.

the day started out great. we went to a lebanese restaurant in sunnyvale ( http://www.falafelbite.com/ )...then we decided to watch a movie.
i love documentarys..and my husband told me it was a documentary, perfect i thought.
the stuff in the movie was unreal!
i wish i never watched it!!!!

i dont think he really deserved it

2009-10-17T15:53:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to post about Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize for a while....(sorry its been a busy 2 weeks...and i still havent even posted on my trip Portland Oregon)

being an American Lebanese who's very proud of both sides.....i'm a little embarrased that Obama was even nominated. He hasnt even been in office 1 year. He is consitantly flip flopping on promises he made...and what he says he wwants to be done.

yes, i know it takes time. But he barley made his first trip to New Orleans last week. The quality of life there is still not a good one. Durring his campaign he slammed the Bush admin for not doing enough for the Katrina survivors. when he got in office he seemed to forget about them.

It appears that race has become more of an issue since hes been office. Whites,hispanics, middle easterners,asian all voted for him because they thoughts he was the better candidate....as did many black people...but some voted for him because they wanted to see a black President in their lifetime. thats not a reason to vote for a President.

i would have respected his award had he actually done something to earn it.....like succeed in making peace somewhere on the planet. but he hasnt had the time to do this yet. America is very fragile right now...and he has yet done anything to make out quality of living any better....well maybe not me...but those who are still unemployed or still being layed off....loosing their homes.

I didnt vote for Obama...but once he was named President of this beautiful country, I said..."ok he's my President, I will support him" . I still feel the same way...but i dont see anything genuine in Obama aside from him being a historical icon for being the first black president to be elected in the United States Of America.

halal bath products

2009-10-14T16:58:00.000-07:00

i know i havent even posted about my portland trip...and so many fun things happened...but i've been SOOOOO busy. ive been working 12-13 hours days this week. we had a bid storm here in the bay area.......the hospital was insane busy with patients! and i dont want to write about my trip untill i have the photos uploaded on my home computer to go with my post...haha!

...anyways so i opened my email today.....and found a link for Halal beauty products.
now someone might wonder why a Lebanese Christian would be getting emails for halal products....

and the answer is ...becuase its cultural. in Lebanon we eat halal meat...and here in the states we buy halal meat because its just healthier...some people consider it part of their relgious obligations, some people just consider it part of their culture. its also important to me the way animals are treated.....

however...i do eat pork at times...so i do not practice a Halal diet.....if any of that makes any sense.

i thought i'd share the link for these beauty products... they have shampoos, lotions, and a bunch of other goodies. there is also a link for a free sample, so i did sign up for it...who knows i may fall in love with a new product...i let you know when my sample arrives :)

http://www.hussana.com/

Back from Portland!

2009-10-12T15:59:00.001-07:00

we had an AMAZING time. i'll post a blog about it...and the odd experianced we had their..haha
i just need a day of sleep first :)

going to portland tommoro, and our 4th anniversary!

2009-10-07T19:08:00.000-07:00

i have a very long day tommoro. both me and marcel and working from 7am-4pm. so we will wake up at 5am to leave by 6 am and start our day.
at 4:30 Marcel should be back at my work...and we will start our journey to Portland for my cousins wedding. I've never been their before so i'm kind of excited. we will only be driving 6 hours tommoro and stop for the night in a area called medford. then the next morning we'll be left with only a 4 hour drive.
we should be in portland early friday....but i have no idea what we'll do in the day, since we know nothing about the area.
were staying at The Nines hotel...it looks really nice on the site...i will let you know if its worth the price later :)
so the special thing about our trip to Portland (aside from my cousins marriage) is that it will me and my husbands 4th anniversary...and it will be the first trip we are taking alone since being in the states. we've done a lot of traveling...but aside from a mediteranian island trip when we lived in lebanon...we always have my son OR MOM with us.....so romance will surround this weekend :)
if i dont read anyones blogs after tommoro afternoon, i'll definatly check them out when i get back!

john and kate plus 8 ...Nancy Grace

2009-10-06T19:37:00.000-07:00

OK, i dont really watch anything concerning kate and john plus 8...but i love Nancy Grace. i found this online...and she completly put him in his place :)

Beirut in Snoop dogs new video

2009-10-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

so i was just reading a blog post from Habib Battah ...this is the same blogger (journalist) had a segment on CNN recently when Snoop Dog was in beirut.....video , yeah thats him below with snoop dog

anyways...he just posted on his blog about the Snoop dog video...and it shows a loooot of BEIRUT!
how cool! i think its awesome that he put Beirut in his video... Lebanon has had its share of bad press...and its nice that Snoop is supporting the country.

animal rights...USA VS Lebanon

2009-10-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

one of the biggest differences between Lebanon and the States are animal rights.....i'm not talking about animal abuse,
but the animals here in the states know they have rights! my husband used to hunt birds with our uncles in Lebanon...(i never ate any) and they would marinate them in wine and eat them! when we'd go anywhere...you never seen birds...if you did see them, they took off.
Lebanese birds stay away from people. they know they will be a meal.looool.
so in USA we always joke about my uncol Abdo. because uncle Abdo would go crazy if he stepped foot in the states and seen all of the bords everywhere. sometimes they go to you. he would really loose his mind. sometimes when we are driving in a parking lot, we will have to honk for the birds to move out of the way.
when my mother in law came to visit us, her nad my mother had a lot of laughs over the animals here. we had to remind my mother in law...that the animals here have more rights than she does....because they are american...loool.

seriously its crazy. but at my work there is a fountain that has so many ducks..photos above...but this was at a time that they were not out...seriously there are hundreds..i just dug these 2 photos out i took when a mom had new babny ducks....anyways, the ducks go up to you...and sometimes they try to go in the hospital.... i alway joke with my coworkers about how i will get a duck to go into my car because he looks tastey...loool in Lebanon these ducks would not be going up to people :)

sometimes when we go to santa cruz or to san francisco...we just stare in amazment at all the pigeons...and think wow..these could feel a lot of people...thank goodness for the pigions americans dont eat them :)

i miss real Lebanese Bread!

2009-10-03T16:03:00.000-07:00

being sick this week, i missed one of my food staples very much...real authentic Lebanese bread! yes there are many middle eastern food stores here in the bay area, but no matter where i go in the states, its never the same. i just want to have a real sandwich where the bread doesnt fall apart when i roll it. some of the wanna be breads they sell always seem hard...and the only way to get it good is to microwave it . i miss the smell going through my apartment at about 3am every morning with the smell of the bakery around the cornor. i never learned how to make lebanese bread because it was never a neccesity. it was always just avaiable. and a few weeks ago i tried to follow a recipe offline...but it was basicly bread to make zatar...i figuered it halfway through (because i can make bread for zatar) and just made that instead so it wasnt so thick.

anyways....i miss real bread!

update soon

2009-10-02T20:22:00.000-07:00

since wednesday night...ive been high off of nyquil (that stuff is dangerous!) laying on my downstairs couch...
ive only eaten 1 meal..well if you can call egg flower soup a meal. i just want to feel normal again! i hate being sick :(
my co-workers are awesome! we are short on on staff...and they made it very easy for me to take the days off.
i just got up for water.....and now im famished!
i miss reading everyones blogs..hopefully i'll be back tomoro!

Lebanese Shiites being expelled from UAE (thanks a lot hezzbollah???)

2009-09-30T18:24:00.000-07:00

i've been hearing for well over a month about Lebanese people who work in UAE being expelled. ive read it mostly on online news...and of the Leabnese friends my husband and me have in UAE they havent said anything about it...could it be because they are chirstian and arent affected by this???
i dont know...but going through google news a minute ago i came across another article that says its Lebanese Shiit's who are being expelled. The Shia in Lebanon are always linked to hezzbollah because hezzbollah is made up mostly of Shia (if not all).
i dont really care what laws what other countrys put because...well its their country and they have the right to say who they want and who they dont in their country. (unfortunatly Lebanon never had this right, as those surrounding Lebanon always seem to decide who will remain within the Lebanese borders)....
but after reading the article i was really shocked by some of the people who were asked to leave...people who had lived their whole life in UAE...and even owned buisness and empolyed sunni UAE citizens.... i dont see how they could be a threat. and i wonder what they will do with their lives stripped away.
anyways its not my country...but i do wonder how these descisions came about.

if you want to read more about it the link is HERE

i live in a germ infested home!

2009-09-28T22:44:00.000-07:00

well not really.....

but were all sick! saturday was soo hot, so early in the morning me and my husband go to tell my son we are going to an amusment park that has a water park...my son says hes sick.
so we confine him to his bedroom, i hear to the pharmacy, and load up on tissue, nyquil, dayquil, cough drops and a thermometor. we get him started...and me and my husband leave to the amusment park alone.

this afternoon i feel like ive been hit by a truck... i get home and go through my sons medication stash...i swear nyquil made me drunk :S

i cant be sick!!!! because i cant take any days off of work. last week someone from our department got let go, and the position wont be replaced for a few weeks....and training. oh well. there is no room for time off.

its all my sons fault..haha

the one funny thing is...my husband who survived 2 bone marrow transplants...numerous rounds of chemotherapy and radiation...thinks haveing the cold is much worse.
hes gone through so much and been so strong...but currently, hes laying on the couch acting like baby (he even had me spoon feed him the medicine.

i can sense the germs around me :)

the new Haifa

2009-09-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

i think Lebanon found its new Haifa. her name is Naya, i dont know much about her...but after watching her video..she has a better voice (but not that much better) and is prettier than Haifa... i just hope that she doesnt do any plastic surgery because she looks fine the way she is...she kind of remindes me of my 15 year old cousin sandy...they look very alike..

UPDATE: sorry fellow bloggers, i got a wierd comment, so decided it was best i took down my little cousin photos.

UFO sightings in Lebanon (jounieh & antelias)

2009-09-25T22:06:00.000-07:00

UFO sighting by multiple witnesses in Lebanon, photos / UFO images from Korea

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i know this sounds tottaly crazy, but there appears to be so many witnesses....i found some article but even found some witnesses speaking of what they seen on LBC.
WOW! after i watched the video i was in shock because it doesnt seem these people are making this up... they are just as confused by what they saw. its not just a few people who seen these UFO's there were hundreds of witnesses. people were stoppign their cars on the road.

also in the video he spoke of Michelle Hayek. every new years eve he goes on LBC and speaks of visions he been given by God about the state of Lebanon and its people. this past new years the newcaster read about him saying ~strange things will appear in the sky that will bring attraction to the world~
....
however i havent been online much this week...and today is the first i am hearing this news....
LBC is a very reputable new station in the middle east. i wonder why i havent heard of it here in the states.

this is aired Sept. 21,2009

i dont even know whats going on in my home

2009-09-22T17:32:00.000-07:00

when i first married my husband ...i was very honest with him about..."i am not a house slave..and everyone needs to give there fair share in home"
it started off fine. my husband always helped out.. even one time my mother in law showed up with her neighbor......my husband was changing the cat litter so he could finish mopping up the blacony....the neighbor flipped out. my mother in law just stayed quiet (out of embarrasement since she knew the deal)...the neighbor sent my husband inside, and completed the job for him. i didnt take over, because it wasnt my chore..loool. i told her to not worry, he was fine doing the job...but she wasnt fine with it. he sulked like a child and let her complete the job (she was a neighbor since he was born so almost like a 2nd mother).
my son was to young to do chores, but he kept his things in order.

--------
when we moved to the states...i was the only one working because my husband was recieving treatment for hodgkins. my husband was very helpful. even though he was going through it, i always came home to relaxation. my husband always made dinner for him and my son, he did the house cleaning...everything. my son helped him out as well. AHHHH...what nice responsible men they were.
------
then 2 years ago my mothers husband passed away from b-cell lymphoma. so we brought my mother to live with us....
she's been very helpful around the house....

she went to her sisters for a visit...so its been a week that my mother has been gone. i realized this week how much my mother does for us. i usually only cook1 or 2 times a week. on my day off. and those are the special dinner days.
but this whole week...we havent ate one meal at home. my husband goes through a drive through after picking me up from work. and not for a snak but a meal ...because my son is showered and ready for bed, sitting at the kitchen table waiting for his dinner.

early in the morning (2 hours before i ususally get up...they've been waking me up in a panic to make them breakfast, coffee, and to find random things they've missplaced wallets,watches,belts and so on. then they leave...and im left to clean the mess.

i went into my mothers room this morning to borrow a pair of her earings..and walked into a disaster zone. my son left a laundry basket near her bed, with a note for her to wash his white tshirts and underwear seperate from him socks. OMG . then my i noticed a pair of my husbands shorts on her bed. i called him at work and asked him why he threw his shorts on her bed...he said because the button fell off. then i noticed her closet opened...i didnt really pay much mind to it...untill i went into the 2nd bathroom ( i never go i this bathroom because it doesnt have a full tub) well, there were all my moms towels, hanging on the wall, over the shower bar, on the floor plus clothes from this week. i called my husband a 2nd time and asked him why they went through my moms closet and took her towels and left the bathroom sucha mess. ( i always assumed everyone used the 2 towels that belonged to the them)...well it turns out everyday my mom gives them a clean towel...and not just that, but he said; that she told them to just leave their stuff in the bathroom and she clears it out when she cleans the bathroom in the morning.
i'm honestly in shock.

i didnt realize how bad things were. my mom is very sweet, and used to serving men her whole life. the sad thing is she thinks its her responsibility. when we go grocery shopping , her first priority is to fill the cart with their favorite items. if we talk on the phone when shes not home...her first question is how THEY are. if i get in a argument with my husband she tells me to just let him feel that he is right.

i feel so bad. but theres not much i can do about it.
i just got off the phone with my mom and told her that she doesnt have to do evertything for them...and her response was..it makes her happy, and im making to big a deal out of it.
WOW

ok so i feel extreemly responsible...because i leave to work in the late morning..and return home between 9-10pm..so its almost like i only experiance life with them on my days off.... i should really know how my family functions ..and i dont. all i know is that my days off are the fun days.. I never worry about little things because they are always taken care of ...

is this normal? how do i make my family (including me) become more responsible for ourselves without treating my mom like a maid? how do i make my mom realize that we should be taking care of her...
the one thing about lebanese culture i never thought would happen in my home has

mika

2009-09-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

sometimes when i bored i google a random word...and read the through the first 10 websites that come up.
Today i arrived at fansite called "mika fan site" i read the first page..and it stated the guy was Lebanese. it noted that he was a singer...so i went to youtube.
hahaaaaa. i never heard of MIKA before . his music isnt music that i have in my home...but somehow it made me smile. he music remindes me of a early cross of Queen and David Bowie
if anyone ever heard of Mika please let me know...loool because before today...i never knew he existed.... and i'm one of those people who name a list of famouse Lebanese, whenever anyone tells me i'm the first Lebanese they ever met.

youtube doesnt allow embeding of his videos...so here the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72tbXmZfQto